plagiarism and the web log

I had to post this picture entry from Dooce.com because it made me laugh. This is one of my favorite blogs to read every day. Enjoy!

Like a vacation, but painful

My coworkers at AMP used to wonder why I never took time off. It's because whenever I do, life goes haywire.

My last day at AMP was Friday February 10. Yay, me! I had a little breakfast in my honor, and some of the ladies took me out to lunch. It was nice. I had to have a ride home from Adam because I underestimated the amount of stuff that I had accumulated over the last three years, and it was too much to take on the bus. But we got it home okay.

That week had been the second week of rehearsals for Cowboy vs Samurai. As of that Friday, I had spent a little over 50 hours in rehearsal, with 10 more to go over that weekend. Monday February 13 was the start of tech week. Now, tech week is always a little crazy, so I thought that I would plan well and start at Wells Fargo on Monday February 20, which would give me tech week off of a day job. All was going well, until we actually opened the show.

Friday February 17, I walked into the theatre to find it 57 degrees inside the building. It was about -10 outside, so it took me a few minutes to realize that I was still pretty cold. We tried all of the contact numbers that we had, with no response. Our poor audience for opening night had to shiver through our show, huddled in their winter coats! The show itself went well, though, so they weren't disappointed in that respect.

The morning of Saturday the 18th, my cell phone woke me up at 9am. I went to get the information for the caller, and promptly fell down the stairs, flat on my back. I only felt my head bounce twice before I managed to brace my foot on the pet gate and stop my downward slide. The dog got scared and tried to hide underneath the couch. Lassie, he ain't. Poor Adam was very nice, and let me lay down that afternoon instead of strip paint like we had been planning.

Sunday the 19th seemed set to be a lovely day, and we thought we'd get some breakfast before I had to be at the matinee. We were driving in my car when I suddenly notice the oil gage reading very low. So, we stop at a gas station, pour two quarts of oil in, start backing out of the parking place and then we see a lake of oil where my car was. Two quarts of oil, not inside my car engine. We get a ride home with friends, Adam takes me to the theater. Then he has to meet the tow truck with my keys, and talk with the repair guys while I'm running the show. We picked it up Monday night, to the tune of $500 of repair plus towing.

I've been at my new job for two days. I like it. I'm never taking time off again.

Par for the course

In honor of my first work out on the Bowflex, I am now going to eat cookies.

Talk Elevator

Woman: We just got a puppy and I'm exhausted from getting up in the middle of the night.
Me: It gets better faster than you'd think.
Woman: How fast?
Me: Well, our dog is 16 weeks and he mostly sleeps through the night.
Woman, as the elevator doors close behind me: Oh, my God. 16 weeks? From right now? [mumbly groaning]

A thru F

On the A list: Guns, Germs, and Steel, by Jared Diamond, which is a really interesting book. I can't say too much, because Adam is reading it next, but I enjoyed it very much. Diamond uses a lot of different studies and evidence to further his ideas, and makes a lot of science and history accessible to the reader.

On the F list: 1421: The Year China Discovered America? We watched the DVD, which explained the book's theory, but then went on to challenge some of the book's ideas. It was clear that, although it's an interesting hypothesis, there is little to no evidence supporting it. I was glad to save myself the time and money that I might have spent on the book itself.

Who Could Forget?

Friends, there is a man I want to tell you about. A man who, a long time ago, gave a lot to his community. A man that unselfishly helped those around him. A man who now has a holiday that we can celebrate every year. No, it's not Jesus, it's Grant Kjos. I figure you already know about Jesus.

It was probably late 2003 when I went to the Olive Garden in downtown Minneapolis and met Grant Kjos. (Kjos = ch + oh + ssss) My wife (then girlfriend) and I were having dinner with Marc and Becky, and we were waited upon by GK who told us (among other things) that he has a holiday. Evidently he wrote a bunch of grants (heh) and gathered up a pile of money to pay for a skate park in his home town. Community leaders were impressed.

Journal of the Senate
Thursday February 15, 2001

Senator Larson introduced--
Senate Resolution No. 62: A Senate resolution commending Grant Kjos of Alexandria,
Minnesota, on receiving a Prudential Spirit of Community Award.
Referred to the Committee on Rules and Administration.

Ok, it doesn't say anything about a holiday, but the actual existance of the holiday isn't important. The important part is that Grant was funny and entertaining, and that he gave us his email and I promised to send him email on Feb. 28 to celebrate Grant Kjos Day.

Some Things about Grant Kjos:
- He used to wait tables at the Olive Garden downtown, but now that Olive Garden is closed, I think.
- He was in college at the time he served us, but I don't know about that anymore.
- He is a skater. He says he wrote for some skater magazine somewhere, and claimed to know some people who were 'really good'.
- He is/was involved in competative hackey-sack (footbag).
- February 28 is Grant Kjos Day.

There's more, but I won't tell you. My friends and I send 'happy GK Day' email to Grant Kjos on Feb. 28, and the only response I've ever heard of was along the lines of 'who are you? what is going on?' This is a real person, who doesn't remember talking to me or giving out his email. I don't want the poor guy to feel like there is anything going on that isn't good, clean fun. There is a definite temptation to go for the most extreme Grant Kjos stalker episode evar, but don't give in. Have a little sanity.

That being said, I hope that everyone can celebrate Grant Kjos Day! Have a beer! Kick a hackeysack! Eat Italian! Send off a GKDay email!

The Monday Afternoon Update

Mel has a new job! I have accepted a job offer from the Wells Fargo History Museum, to be the Assistant Curator at the Minneapolis museum. I'll be working closely with the local school districts to develop tours and lesson plans that fit their standards and curriculum. I'm very excited to move back into my degree fields, and still have a job that allows me to do theatre on the side. My last day with Ameriprise will be Friday, February 10. I'll start at Wells Fargo on Monday, February 20, after Cowboy opens.

Stay tuned for an annoucement about celebratory drinking!

The Monday Update

Short and sweet:
I'm starting rehearsals tonight for Cowboy vs. Samurai, which will run 5pm-10pm every weeknight for the next two weeks, with some weekend times TBD (just for fun). God help me.

No puppy class on Saturday, which left Arrow wondering all weekend why we didn't go to see his puppy friends. Thankfully, he managed to wear himself out digging holes in the yard. God help us.

Adam made good progress on stripping the large window in the dining room. Only two or three more coats to go. God help him.

The moral of the story is, don't call me, call Adam!

Happy New Year!

2006 is the Year of the Dog

Puppy Picture Post

You want it. You need it. The desire burns in your veins. Well take a deep breath and calm down, I'm here with your fix. That's right. More pictures of the puppy.

Arrow has been growing quickly. Around 8 weeks, if you'll recall, we hit the vet for the first time and Arrow weighed in at 12.5 lbs. The 12 week visit had Arrow tipping the scales at just a hair under 20 lbs - I'm sure he's crested that mark by now.

We're doing some puppy obedience classes Saturday mornings. He's so gloriously exhausted for the rest of the weekend after that. When his energy levels are on the rise we take 'em back down with "Pint Sized Play" on Tuesdays. PSP is for dogs less than 20 lbs. Arrow is so awsome that the people running it are quite convinced he'll be able to come for a while yet. I'll bring him for as long as they let me - when he's too long away (come Thursday, Friday) he starts to go hyper-spastic.

Folks at the classes seem to like Arrow quite a bit. Perhaps it's the mystique of the mixed breed dog. Perhaps it's Arrow's dynamically physical demeanor. Maybe it's just an excuse to come speak with the handsome and rugged, yet sensitive owner. Or maybe it's just proud papa syndrome. Whatever the case, everyone in the classes seems to know Arrow's name.

Alright, enough with the jibber-jabber. Get with the pictures, already.

Nice photo work from Mel. It's hard to frame an active puppy.

When Arrow builds up too much steam it's out in the yard with 'im. Thank goodness for the fence.

Arrow with arch-nemesis and companion SqueakyMonkey.

Stinky puppies get to have a bath, even if they don't want it. I promise I'm wearing swim trunks here. Jump-up-puppy is far to dangerous to go au natural.

Wipeout - are you kidding? I totally meant to do that.

Ah, peace and quiet.

But other than that

it was a nice weekend. Friday night I dragged Adam to see a play reading at Mu's New Eyes Festival, and then we went out to Azia for a while to have a drink and visit with people. We always stand around trying to think of somewhere else to go, and then we always end up at Azia anyway. I should just start making reservations there whenever I'm going out with Mu people.

Saturday morning we were at Puppy Class. Arrow was trying so hard to be the teacher's pet. He would stare at Molly (the instructor) as she was working with other dogs, and follow all of the commands that she gave. Then he would bark when she gave treats to the other dog and not to him. When she did come over to work with us, Arrow was so excited to see her that he could barely sit still. It was very funny. At home, we're working on the command Leave It!, which he does pretty well unless he already has your sock in his mouth. Then you have to physically take it out of his pointy little teeth. He was very good yesterday when we were working on the trim. We had been tying him out in the living room, but at one point, he came in from outside and sat in his crate and just quietly watched us. That was nice.

Adam was the real star of Thorne House: The Strip Joint this weekend. He did two coats on the door frame, and one coat on the small window. I did detail work on the last baseboard corner, and then on the doorway. Otherwise, I was on laundry, cooking, and cleaning detail. Which worked out well, actually. We only have one more weekend before I start rehearsals, and I don't know what my actual rehearsal schedule is. So, we might be waiting a few weeks to finish up the stripping and start on the wallpaper removal. Unless someone else wants to come over and help Adam when I'm busy. Call now--operators are standing by!

An Open Letter

to the person who revved their car in my neighborhood for a long time at 11 pm:

Dude, what the hell is your problem? Let me set you straight on two things. One, that's not sexy. Two, a few weeks on my new/used Bowflex and I'm gonna come out there and find you.

Unless it's still this cold, and then you can just sit out there and freeze for all I care. Moron.

Sincerely,
Mel

Thorne House II: Return of the Blog!

Well, I can assure you that the lack of updates to this blog is due to the fact that we've been busy, not that we've been lazy. (At least, not any lazier than normal.)

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The ADD Version
After my family left, we had a day of work before New Year's weekend. I am in preproduction for Mu's Cowboy Vs Samurai, which starts rehearsals the end of this month. We are in Saturday morning puppy classes with Arrow, and Adam takes him to a couple of other play times during the week. We have also finalized our paint choices for the living and dining rooms, and begun the process of stripping the paint off the woodwork in the dining room. Viola, you're up to date, without all of that annoying editorializing that I am prone to do.

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The Peter Jackson Version

After my family left, we had a day of work before New Year's weekend. Adam was pretty smug that he had off all week, went to work on Friday, and then had a long weekend off of work. On New Year's Eve we went to a party at a friend's house. We didn't stay much past midnight, but it was nice to get out for a while. New Year's Day our friends Jen Cuff and Chris Smith had a brunch at their new house, just two blocks away from our house. They had plates of cookies, and fresh fruit, lots of coffee, a fantastic amount of pepper and chorizo omelette, and some delicious potatoes sauteed with butter, garlic and onion. Very, very good stuff!

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I have started preproduction work for the next show. Mu Productions is presenting Cowboy Vs Samurai, which is a play inspired by Cyrano de Bergerac. It is a story about three men in a small Wyoming town and how their lives change after the lovely Veronica Lee moves there. The script is very funny. I'm looking forward to seeing it come together. We'll have only two weeks of rehearsals, though, since the director is coming out from New York City, so we're having two read throughs before we start rehearsing and my actors have to be off book. It's a difficult way to work--it's much easier to memorize when you've got some movement to help you keep track of where you are in the scene. I just had a walk through of Mixed Blood Theatre, the space where we'll be performing. I've been there to see shows, but this will be my first time working there, which is exciting.

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Saturday mornings are now spent with six or eight other puppies, which is entertaining. Arrow is one of the youngest dog there, at 12 weeks. There's a Yorkshire Terrier pup who is 14 weeks. He's so small that Adam mistook him for a guinea pig! The other dogs are all about four months or older, but Arrow loves to run around and wrestle with them. We're pretty profficient at Sit, and we're getting better at Down. We've just started working on Stay and Leave It. Arrow is turning out to be pretty smart, which might cause all kinds of problems if we can't keep him occupied. He also has lots of energy, and he likes to make sure that you know that he's available to eat whatever it is you're eating, or play with whatever it is you've got in your hand. On Tuesdays, there is a small dog play hour, which Arrow is quickly outgrowing. At 8 weeks, he was 12 pounds. At 12 weeks, he weighed in at 20 pounds. Adam just bought him a new collar, which should fit him for a long time. (It has triangles on it, for Triangle Toss.) Our class instructor might start a second play hour on Sundays, for the dogs in the class, so Arrow would be able to go to that, even if he outgrows the first one.

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Just after Christmas, Adam and I finally bought an area rug for the dining room. We had been looking for a rug for a long time, trying to find something that we both liked, for a price that we could handle. The rug is a little over 8' by a little under 10', and we're very happy with how it looks. It's always fun to see how the room changes when you add a new piece to it. Now that we have the rug, we were able to choose the paint colors for the living and dining room walls. We're both excited to be rid of the yucky wallpaper.

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We've started stripping the paint off of the baseboards, and we've found that underneath the coat of white is a coat of mega-ugly pea-soup green. It's especially gross when it's mixed with the bright orange stripping gel. We're using a product called Citristrip, which is safe for indoor use. It smells like the biggest orange you've ever seen, but it's miles better than the usual chemical stuff. The baseboards are coming out a dark brown that was probably really beautiful when it was new. 96 years later, some parts are lighter, some darker, some pretty rough, and some still pretty nice. So, we'll see if we can get all of the paint off, and then then it will be wallpaper off, and paint on, and then we'll revisit the trim and decide how we'd like to finish it off.

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So, that's The Rest of the Story. Sorry it took so long to get this updated. Hopefully this means we'll now move on to returning voicemails, emails and letters, too. (And by we, I mean me.) Plus, stay tuned for more pictures!

Which religious leader do you most resemble?

Lao Tzu You two would probably really get along!

Founder of Taoism "In dwelling, live close to the ground. In thinking, keep to the simple. In conflict, be fair and generous. In governing, don't try to control. In work, do what you enjoy. In family life, be completely present."

Take the test yourself!

top 10 reasons to have my family visit

10. You get to play the game, How many computers fit into one house?

9. My mom will do your dishes.

8. You can play Halo with Alex until your eyes bleed.

7. My dad will change the tail-lights in your car.

6. You get to play the game, Who cooked this meal? and the answer is never, You.

5. My mom will clean your bathroom.

4. You get to play the game, How many types of transportation can we use today?

3. My mom will do your laundry.

2. You get to play the game Robo-Rally!

And the number one reason to have my family visit: for the fun of it. We had a good time visiting together, and visiting other friends. It's always a blessing to have time with family. I'm ready to have our house to ourselves again, but I bet our puppy is wishing that someone was still home with him!

Happy Holidays!

Hey, remember last year when I said that I was going to write a monthly letter about what was up with us? Wasn't that a funny joke? The blog certainly makes it easier to keep you all a little more informed about happenings here, and it's much more fun to write. So, nevermind that snail mail stuff. Here's your 2005 Interactive Holiday Letter!

This has been a pretty eventful year. We started out in our apartment, with me in rehearsals for the GSVLOC's The Gondoliers. That was the last G&S for me--after three years of huge casts and disorganized crews, I decided it was time to start working for some different theatre companies. Which turned out to be a good decision, because I very quickly had two other opportunities, with In the Basement Productions and Mu Performing Arts.

In April, after the show closed, we started looking for our house. We took turns being discouraged by seeing lots of houses that we didn't like. It was pretty easy to agree on which house we wanted to offer on! Thanks again to our real estate agent, Dan Lindstrom. I started rehearsals for Machiavelli's The Mandrake, with ITBP. Adam took a trip to Arizona, to visit his college friend Michael Stenner. We closed on our house on June 10th, and moved in at the end of the month. The Mandrake closed, and we continued to unpack and argue about home furnishings. Adam started his research into what kind of dog he wanted, which led us to a dog show in Albert Lea as well as What Kind of Dog Are You?

In August, we took a trip to Indianapolis, IN, to visit with our friends at GenCon and to be in Erin and Scott's wedding. They had a lovely ceremony at Deer Park Manor in Bloomington, IN, which actually had a herd of deer wandering around. The reception was a lot of fun, with good food and funny speeches and a whole flock of dancing toddlers. When we got back from IN, I started rehearsals for Happy Valley, with Mu. This is an Asian American theater that I really wanted to start working with. I feel lucky to be involved in their work.

Happy Valley closed on October 2nd, which was our first wedding anniversary. We were going to go out to dinner on Monday the 3rd, and drove to Gasthof, our favorite German restaurant, only to have the empty parking lot remind us that they're closed on Mondays. The exact same thing happened to us on our first official date. Next year, our anniversary will fall on a Monday, so we figure we can complete the ritual of driving to Gasthof, and finding it closed, for at least one more year.

With no more shows on the 2005 agenda, I could finally devote my time to interior decoration. So far, I have rearranged the books on the bookcases 8 times. That process was rudely interrupted by our family vacation to Zion National Park. Adam and I flew to Las Vegas to meet up with my parents, who drove from Madison, and my brother and sister-in-law, who drove from San Diego. We spent two days in Vegas, during which I was ill and Mother was getting over a cold, and then four days in Zion, during which Amanda had a cold. Aside from the illnesses, it was a really fun trip, and some very welcome time off.

Our biggest change this year was the adoption of a puppy, Arrow. He was born on October 20, just five days before Adam's birthday. He's eight weeks old now, weighs in at a hefty 12 pounds, and just had his first shots at the vet. He and Lane the Cat are competing to see who can ignore who the best. Arrow's godmother Sara is moving to Korea for a year, so check back as we post massive amounts of pictures for her, and for everyone else, too. Puppy pictures--some of the joy, none of the poop. That's a win win situation!

I'll be taking off of work for the rest of the week, to prepare the house as the Lam Family descends up on it. My parents will arrive on the 23rd (Happy Anniversary to them!) and Alex and Amanda fly in on the 24th. Hopefully we'll still have snow on the ground, so the CA kids can have a White Christmas. I know how much they miss the frozen tundra. A very happy holiday season to everyone! Stay warm and healthy. God bless us all, each and every one!

With love,
Adam, Mel, Lane and Arrow

Arrow

This is my dog Arrow. Arrow showed up here Friday about 1:30 or so while my wife was home. Since then he's been slowly becoming more at home, as well as peeing on our stuff.

Arrow's life so far goes like this:
1) wake up
2) pee / poop
3) play for 30 min to 1 hr
4) go to sleep for 2 hrs or so
(repeat)

So far I'm pleased the nocturnal third of that cycle has been stretched enough that I've only been haveing to get up once (generally around 4:30 am) to let him out. I stick Mel with taking him out when he gets up again at 7:00 am. I try to arrange it so the pee and poop happens outside, and have generally been batting around .800 at that.

"Play" seems to mean "Arrow bites hand." He's got sharp little puppy teeth, so when you come over to play with him consider using one of his toys in between your hand and his mouth. Not that Arrow won't still try to bite your hand, there'll just be a little something in the way. He's teething, so when he scrapes up your hand you're not allowed to be upset. We're working on 'ouch' as a command.
Thanks to judicious application of bacon Arrow has learned that when we go outside it's not just for the scenery. Know why so many dog treats are bacon flavored? It's because bacon is doggie crack. Mel decided she didn't want hers Saturday morning and that's all it took to teach Arrow that when we go outside he shouldn't just stand there, he should get to work. Now he turns and starts looking at me about halfway through fertalizing the rasberries, and as soon as he finishes he tears at me full tilt, ready for that bacon.
Another one we're working on is not freaking out in the crate. We have a wire crate to train him, because I've seen how it goes down when it's dog vs. sofa, kitchen table, banister, shoe, glasses, TV remote, gloves, roll of toilette paper, garbage can, etc. It's my parents who had to suffer for this lesson, and they have my thanks. The crate is still a little traumatic for Arrow, however.

Vet appointment Tuesday at 3:00. Thanks to everyone who suggested places! I didn't listen to any of you. The appointment is for a place at 3131 Lyndale Ave. When I called around places checking prices the cash varied from $177 - $380 for the stuff puppies need (+ neutering, $150 - $250). Perhaps you can guess which end of the scale this joint was on. After the vet I'll be looking to set him up with some puppy socialization classes.

I'll ask the vet about the lasers vs. bees debate. Weigh in for yourself in the comments...

Countdown to Doggie-dom

or, How I Moved Everything Off The Floor In One Week.

or, The Great Bottom Shelf Purge.

or, "You know he's going to eat those, don't you?"

The books. The shoes. The pictures. The gloves. The cords. The books. The socks. The hacky sacks. The papers. The rugs. The plants. The Xbox controllers. The DVDs. The cough drops. The pillows. The computers. The potato chips. The kitchen towels. The shoes. The books.

Getting ready for the Chewing Machine!

DoggieBlog

So we drove on up to Isabella and saw our future dog.

First, the trip. We left Saturday around 3:30 or so. I've driven through worse snow, but during the trip it was about as bad as I've been in this year so far. It had snowed all day, but not very heavily. It managed to put down about an inch, maybe two. The limit was 70 mph and we spent the first bit of it at 50-55. The roads cleared up about an hour out though, and we were able to pick up speed. We then stayed at a hotel provided by my parents as an anniversary gift (thx Mom&Dad!). It had a whirlpool in the room - basically a 3-person sized tub with water jets. The next day we made the last 1/2 hr of driving along some very entertainingly twisty roads. Also, according to our host, through the highest moose population in the state. He says they get about 20 roadkill moose a year. So then we got to hang around with Jason Cuff, musher + dog breeder, and his puppies from 11 a.m. or so until just after dark (what, about 4:45?).

So here's what you really want: puppy pictures.

6 puppies - 3 male, 3 female. What kind of puppies are they? Alaskan Huskies, or Racing Huskies, or sled-dog mutts. Through the years they've been carefully bred for athletic qualities, so 'mutt' doesn't really have the right connotation. They've been bred to win races, however, not dog shows. They are a mix of many different breeds.







This boy was our runner up. He was very pretty, also reserved, crafty, and determined. We think he may end up a handful to care for, and opted for a simpler dog.










The winner! Jason holds the dog that will be 'Arrow'. This one was smallest of the males, and most affectionate. The litter was born 10/20/05 (5 days before my own birthday!). Next weekend Jason will make the trip down here from Isabella and the dog will come to live with us.

If anyone has a vet they'd like to recommend I'd love to hear about it. Let us know in comments - thx!

What our dog might look like

Here are some relatives of our future puppy: