Wednesday, September 13, 2006
I love the Internet
"To the person who put half a piece of toast on my car this morning:
Why?
Now what would possess a person to discard a perfectly good piece of toast?
I agree with your choice of morning nourishment, but why not finish it?
Were you trying to share the deliciousness of the freshly baked bread?
Or were you merely showing off your excellent bread toasting skills?
I'm sure you noticed the garbage can that was a mere 20 ft from my parked car, but no- your toast had a purpose.
I thank you for the kind gesture, but as it was half-eaten I did not partake in the digesting of it.
Now I know you didn't carelessly toss the toast aside and it just happened to fall on my car, because it was so carefully (dare I say lovingly?) placed under my wiper blade. Butter side up.
Maybe I am missing something. Is there some sort of age-old tradition of distributing buttered toast as a symbol of affection, courtship, impending doom? If so I hope it's not the latter.
As I was unsure of who you might be generous-toast-weilding-man, I didn't want to physically come in contact with your little gift you left me. It took me almost 5 minutes to find a stick and poke it out from under my wiper and push it too the ground- my squirrel friends that live around the building thank you I'm sure. My boss does not , as I was late for work.
Thank you for the kind start to my morning, however tomorrow I would rather like a cup of coffee and a 3-egg omelette (extra cheese mind you) to go with it."
Which supports my theory that we are much funnier in print than we are live.
Monday, September 11, 2006
So that's why I don't like Tom Jones!
Intergalactic academic says Martians and aboriginal earthlings mated to create Asian race
By Maggie Grainger
September 4, 2006
San Diego--Pluto may have been officially demoted as a planet, but that doesn’t seem to have the rest of the galaxy in a tizzy.
Yep, that’s right, we’re not alone in the universe – or at least that’s what the students and teachers at the Unarius Academy of Science in El Cajon want the world to know.
Professor and web master David Reynolds says Pluto was never recognized as a planet in the intergalactic council anyways and that we should be focusing our energy on the aliens closer to home.
Aliens are among us – Martians to be exact – and they are roaming the earth right now -- although you wouldn’t necessarily be able to spot one because, well, because they’re Asian.
Yep, you read right. Asians are Martians or vice versa.
According to Reynolds, the Asian race is a result of Martian and aboriginal Earthlings interbreeding more than half a million years ago.
Reynolds says the Martians came to Earth long ago with the intent to colonize and relocate from their home on Mars, but were confronted by the angry aboriginal earthlings in the Gobi desert before they could stake their claim.
The earthlings were too much for the Martians to handle and, although they had more advanced ray guns, the Martians ended up surrendering because they don’t believe in war.
“They knew if they (the Martians) shot, it would set back their own spiritual plan,” Reynolds explained.
Eventually the Martians and Aboriginals started getting busy together and over the years the offspring turned into today’s vast Asian population.
Reynolds says pure blood Martians are still on Mars waiting for the right time to make themselves known to the human race.
“They don’t want us snooping around,” he said. “They’ve camouflaged the openings on the surface because they don’t want to be bothered.”
Instead, they are hard at work advancing their own race and have tried to make contact with Earthlings for centuries now but are afraid of getting shot once they enter the Earth’s atmosphere.
Reynolds says the government knows that the Martians have been trying to make contact but want to keep it a secret because it would “cause people to not have a spiritual foundation” and throw everything into chaos.
Martians aren’t the only ones trying to make contact, there are more than 30 other planets composed of “aliens that look like you and me” in the “Confederation” that want to make contact but are too advanced for the human race to understand.
Instead, they are waiting for us to catch up both technologically and spiritually before they make their presence known to everyone.
“Right now we are too hostile a race,” Reynolds points out. “We need to be open to our ‘space brothers’ who know we are going through a painful transition right now.”
--------------------
Maggie Grainger is a Vyuz staff writer.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Happy Labor Day
It was a beautiful day in the labor-hood. We spent the weekend shopping at Home Depot, putting up picture rails, and hanging out with friends. It was rainy Saturday and Sunday, but lovely on Monday, as you can see above. Pictures of hanging picture rails are here on Flickr. Thorne Gallery, coming soon!
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Throwing In With The Laws of God and Man
I got a call on Tuesday from a volunteer for the Keith Ellison campaign, asking me if I was going to vote for Ellison. I said, No, I'm going to vote for Ember Reichgott Junge. He said, "Okay, thanks," and hung up.
I don't get it. No attempt to change my mind? No pitch about Ellison being a better candidate? No quiz about why I'm going to vote for Junge? What?
Which brings me to the real question, whatever happened to polite debate? When did we develop this inability to change each other's minds through asking questions or sharing information? When did we come to the conclusion that if someone doesn't think like us, we shouldn't spend time trying to understand each other's point of view? I don't get that, either.
Monday, August 28, 2006
Monday, monday
space
"4. Nora is getting really particular about what she wears. Dresses are RIGHT OUT, as is anything with "curlies," which she defines as the slightest hint of a gather, or a ruffle, or that lettuce edging that little girls' turtlenecks have, or even sometimes puffed cap sleeves on t-shirts. For the most part, I let her wear what she wants and try to shop accordingly, but occasionally I will pull out one of the adorable barely-worn sundresses and try to get her to put it on. The "but a dress is so much cooler!" argument sometimes works, since my girl has a horror of being hot, but not always. A few weeks ago I tried to appeal to her inner jock by postulating that the sleeveless cotton tank dress was really a "basketball dress." And yes, the whole time I was jiving and conniving I knew how ridiculous I sounded. But I wanted her to wear it at least once before the season was over, and it worked.
space
For a while. The whole rest of that morning, Nora acted like a total shithead. She whined and acted up and backtalked and was hyperemotional and I have never seen such bad behavior from her, ever. I was trying to get ready for our outing and doing eight million things and it just kept getting worse and worse, so finally I said, "Nora, what is WRONG with you?"
space
That's when she started crying hysterically, hiccupping and sobbing, "I DON’T WANT TO WEAR A DRESS!"
space
Well JESUS, you don't have to! Go ahead, take it off! Particularly if it means you will act like a human again! I knew Nora had no love for dresses and skirts but I did not know that wearing one for a few hours would color her ENTIRE WORLDVIEW. The dress-hate runs deep, apparently, and I won't ever try to pull one over on her again.
space
---mimi smartypants eateth not the bread of idleness but makes no promises about the cupcake of idleness. "
space
We spent the weekend finally making progress on house projects. After last weekend's disjointed spasms of usefulness, I really wanted to get a lot done this weekend. It mostly worked.
space
On Saturday, Adam and I were at the MN State Fair. We spent some time at the Wells Fargo stagecoach, handing people in and out and rocking the coach for them. Then we walked around the Horse Barn and the Cattle Barn before fleeing the mass of fair-going humanity. Jen and Becky and I hit the MOA for lunch and new boots for them. I didn't even buy a book--I'm so good! That afternoon was given over to more Malibu repair contemplations, since the coolent system continues to be schizophrenic. Adam and Jesse and Chris thought they might replace some gaskets, but Adam decided that we should get mechanic's quotes first. I thought that was a wise choice. We'll see if I still think so after calling a few shops.
space
Sunday morning meant a lovely dim sum brunch with the usual suspects plus the entertaining Mr Postle. Afterwards, Adam was good enough to put off having a nap, and instead we did some paint stripping on the big window. He also cut the lawn and swept the house, while I did laundry and other housecleany things. I helped Jen move some bookcases in her house, since she can't carry anything yet. We commiserated about having, "Oh, just put it there," piles left over from moving in. Don't worry--those are on the project list, too.
space
Hopefully this week, we will buy the picture rails and paint them. I would love to get them up next weekend. Then we only have a little more stripping before we can seal the woodwork. We've decided to keep it pretty rough-looking, and just put a clear coat over it, the better to clean it when the children have food fights.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
The Laziest Post Ever
- The resort is still under construction, rebuiding from Hurrican Ivan in 2002.
- All of these pictures were taken on the last three days that we were on the island.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Accomplishments and Activities
1) Fixed the car. With the help of Chris Smith the Chevy Malibu was diagnosed as having a bad alternator, and said alternator was replaced. I'm fairly impressed with the with this, but there isn't much to say about it. Next time I have to put a serpentine belt back on, however, I think I'll put it over the toothy gear and then try to slide it onto the smooth gear, instead of the other way around.
B) Go Tournament. There was a Go tournament a while back, and I went. It was the Minnjin tournament (a play on an existing Japanese tournament for the title of Meijin), and it was sponsored by the Japan-America Society of Minnesota, or somesuch. They asked me what strength I was and I said "I have no idea." They rather arbitrarily put me down as 16 Kyu (AGA scale). There were maybe 15 or 20 people there. My record went like this:
- Game 1 - Reggie 14 Kyu (Black) vs. Adam 16 Kyu (White), No Handicap - I won this one on time due to Reggie not understanding the Ing game clock. We played it out anyway, and Reggie took me: Black 65, White 57.5 (with a 6.5 point Komi). Who knows how it would have turned out if Reggie had had to hurry some of his critical decisions a bit more?
- Game 2 - Sam 25 Kyu (Black) vs. Adam 16 Kyu (White), 9 Stone Handicap - Sam was just a beginner, but he had a good sense for grabbing territory and not getting stuck in loosing battles. It looked pretty close until we factored in his prisoners. Final score Black: 52, White 81 (no komi).
- Game 3 - Xing 25 Kyu (Black) vs. Adam 16 Kyu (White), 9 Stone Handicap - Xing was also still a beginner, but he had a much greater willingness to jump in and fight against me. Unfortunately for him, this led to his slaughter. We didn't bother to count the score.
- Side Game - One of the guys who looked like part of the regular crowd challenged me to a side game. I forget his name, I think it started with a 'B'. He said he was playing as a 5K that day, and that I could take however many stones I felt were necessary as a handicap. 16k - 5k = 11 stones, but 11 stones sounded like a whole lot. I opted for 7, and was able to force a resignation from him. He said he thought 4 stones would result in a better game.
I went in not knowing my strength. I feel like I played about on par with Reggie who was a 14k. This made me pretty happy, as I was hoping that I'd come in 15-20 kyu. If someone were to ask, I think I'd tell them that I'm about a 15k. But I beat that 5k pretty handily. If I take him at his word that I should have 4 stones from him that would suggest that I would be 5kyu + 4 stones = 9kyu. I don't think I'd buy that I'm down into the single digits, but I am glad to have played well against him. =)
I was happy to have established my strength, and I had a couple of good games, but I felt like the tournament was unfortunately bad. For one thing, I only got one official game against a similarly ranked player. The 25k's I played were nice people, but on the goban I just pushed them around. Oh well, I guess there weren't enough people in the 15+ kyu range to really flesh out the lower ranks. Also James Kerwin, a local Pro, was supposed to show up and do an analysis of the top games. But James called in sick. These things happen, but since I paid $10 to take part I was expecting a little something. It's not like there were any prizes or anything, no final standing was announced. Basically I just showed up and played the 3 players closest to my own strength. The best local players did some analysis on some games (BTW, having the 2 players give commentary on the game they actually played is comedy gold, especially if one of them is really cocky), but basically that was the regular group commenting on the regular group, mostly for the benefit of the regular group. It was a 1dan/3dan game, a 1dan/1dan game, and like a 4kyu/5kyu game. It would have been nice to see dan level, 5-10 kyu, and then 15+ kyu games, just to broaden the appeal.
I had fun none-the-less. I hope to make it to one of the local Go club gatherings that the 5k mentioned to me, and maybe see some of those people there.
iv) Fixed the Garbage Disposal. I have carved another notch on the psycho-fix-it-guy toolbelt. While it is true that I was the source of the fishtank gravel entering the garbage disposal, I don't think that diminishes the fact that I have fixed it. Anyway I now have a good knowledge of how to remove the disposal from underneath my sink and unjam / disassemble / backflush it.
There is also the matter of our recent vacation, but we'll get a picture post up about that soon enough.
Where am I going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Just a note now to let you know that I've added the Google Calendar button under Links (over there--->) so that you can see our schedule, if you want to. Those of you who have Gmail should be able to see the calendar no problem, since you already have one of your own automatically. Otherwise, it's a sign up dealio, which is obviously completely up to you. If you prefer, you can simply click on the first link, and that will give you just the current month.
So now you know when we're available to be entertained by you. So get right on that, people.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
And then there were none....
Au revior!
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Picture Post
Here are some views from the WF tower in LA (I don't know what parts of town we're looking at), as well as a super cool sulpture in their courtyard:
Here's a weirdly dark picture of Amanda and I, and a better pic of Tabetha (who is platinum blonde as of yesterday):
Here is a view of San Francisco's Chinatown, as well as the "silver" ware I was given at the SFO airport. If the DHS would hurry up and do its job, we could all eat lunch easier.
Here is the one work-related photo that I'm posting from my trip. This is an example of the scales that WF agents would use to weigh gold dust from the 49ers in the gold fields. These scales are so accurate that you can make a pencil X on a sheet of paper, and weigh the difference between that and another unmarked sheet.
Friday, July 21, 2006
Forza Motorsport Challenge II
Forza Motorsport Challenge I has concluded. Not that you shouldn't post a time in comments, but I'm moving on to the next challenge. The old challenge was any class D car on Maple Valley (the 2.98 mi track, not the shorter one), in 'hot lap' mode. No mods on the car, and after the first lap you'll have a running start. Results came up like this:
- Matt - 1:48.361 in the Peugeot 206 Gti 180
- Chris - ~2:02 in I don't remember what car
- Jesse - 1:49 in the Audi TT
- Marc - 1:50.746 in the Peugeot 206
- Adam - 1:46.278 in the Peugeot 206
Now that that's out of the way here's Forza Motorsport Challenge II:
Lancer EVO vs. WRX STi
In the comments post a time for both the Class C 2004 Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution VIII GSR and the Class C 2004 Subaru Impreza WRX STi on the Blue Mountains Raceway II track. Also, discuss which you prefer in tha game.
Challenges I and II have been 'hot lap' and no mods on the car for the sake of those who haven't progressed super far through the game yet, and might not have the game money to be buying and hotroding cars. Eventually I want to have a 'tune this car the best' type contest, so let me know how your in-game bank account is lookin, 'k?
Right about now my wife is thinking 'this is what I get for encouraging him to post on the blog.' =D
Monday, July 17, 2006
Of People and Puppies
Friday, July 14, 2006
Pondering Particles
Not as gross as eating two pounds of bacon. It's funnier when it's not yours.
Overheard on the bus to work:
"I think people date whoever they want to.... People see us and they think, we're both Mexican, we must be dating."
"Like you have this instant connection."
Overheard at Caribou:
"You can have a bad attitude and still do good work." (<--Thank goodness; because I hate to change.)
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Party Pooper
space
My colds tend to ricochet around my body, changing their point of attach each day that I am sick. The first day, my throat is swollen and terribly sore. The next day, my sinuses clog up, and the throbbing begins behind my eyes. The third day, I have a cough and an all-day series of fevers. It's a rich tapastry
of fun.
space
Today I feel much better, and I am back at work. I have managed to stay awake all day so far. My boss bought us all chocolate, and then pointed out that for the Aquatennial, the Crowne Plaza has $2 vodka lemonades. You know, to make my recovery complete.
Friday, July 07, 2006
Party Pictures*
Adam's excited to be a part of this plan:
The game of bocce (which was preceded by a game of croquet):
The crowd of us right before we walked up to the park:
Chris Smith, Jen Cuff and Jacqueline Cuff, in ascending order:
*How many posts do you think I can start with alliterative P's?
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Painting Progress
We made visible progress on the dining room this weekend. It's very exciting to think that we'll be able to have our dining room back again soon! On Saturday, we went to buy our paints and primers and implements. Then we sealed ourselves into the dining room and sanded down all four walls. We had spackled over many holes and cracks, so we sanded to reduce the texture of the walls. 97 year old plaster walls have enough personality already, without us adding to it!
Here you can see the two colors of primers that we're using. Since the room was wallpapered, we had to use oil based primers, and if I never do that again, it'll be fine with me. (Never mind that whole living room waiting for us....) I still have paint on my legs, but at least my hands aren't gray any more. That light primer is actually very close to what the final color will be on the East, North and West walls.
We painted the primer on Sunday, and then to celebrate Adam went to Willow River St Park with Chris and Jesse. He came home with a lovely head wound from climbing behind the waterfall. He had Monday off, and I came home at 2pm, but instead of doing more painting, he had a violent allergy attack. I did laundry while he popped antihistamines, and then we indulged in late night Ceasar salads at Figlio. Poor guy had to have something good happen to him!
So, it was Tuesday morning before we managed to put two coats of the red up on the South wall. We wanted to be able to brag to all of our party guests that afternoon, and we did get a lot of complements. It was also nice to be able to show exactly why our house is a terrible mess. Good thing the party was outside! Stay tuned for party pictures tomorrow!
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
We need more sleep.
"I love you for who you am--"
"Not just because I solve your problems."
Monday, June 26, 2006
Love in the Time of I Don't Want to Talk to You
Weeding, like every other house project, has it's own set of tools/props/stuff. The Revenge Shopping happened at Home Depot, where I picked up a grass shears and a new sprinkler. (How very exciting!) It's amazing, though, the difference that an hour's weeding in a flower bed can make. I did the bed in the front of the house, and partway down the front walk, while Adam chased Creeping Charlie in the backyard. After Adam cut the grass Sunday morning, we went around with the weed whacker and finally trimmed up the fenceline along the South side of the yard. The grass had happily grown up into the fence, which is okay if you're going for that Little House on the Prairie look, which we're not. Adam also trimmed up around the verbenas along the curb walk, using the new grass sheers, which resulted in 6 plants looking nice and 1 plant chopped in half. Oops.
It's finally been raining usefully, a lovely slow soaking instead of a harsh downpour, so that's been helping everything in the yard. I've been putting some used coffee grounds by the new hostas, and watered almost everything else with some MiracleGro. We're getting the first ripe raspberries, which we picked last night as our super-fresh dessert. Joanne and John Jongsma were over grilling out and hoping our dogs would get along (which they kind of did), and after dinner we all ate a handful of raspberries straight off the bush. A few more hours of weeding, and we'll be ready to relax on the outdoor chores for a little while. Just in time to start the final push on the dining room!
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Getting Schooled
SIT:
DOWN:
And I can't remember if this was supposed to be UP, or was a failed attempt at BEG:
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Keeping up Northern Relations
Arrow normally doesn't appreciate the car very much, so we gave him a couple of Benedryl, and then he slept the whole way and didn't pull his usual trick of foaming at the mouth and puking. We'll have a couple of other trips this year, so we're happy to find something that keeps him relaxed in the car. And before you all call the ASPCA, the Benedryl was recommended by our vet!