1.3 or, Planes, Trains and Automobiles

Dear Miriam,

You're a California girl, now.  Here's how it happened.  You went to Madison the first weekend in June so that the Grand Lams could get their house cleaned out.  I had my last week of work.  The moving truck picked up all of our stuff and then the dogs and I met up with you all in Madison.  We packed up a moving truck, sent our minivan off with a car moving company, got in the big van and started driving West.

Your car seat was on the driver's side of the van, which turned out to be the sunny side.  So you spent the trip looking out the window through a couple of shades.  It didn't seem to stop you from pointing out airplanes or trucks.  It did mean we had to aim the air conditioning at you and crank it up, otherwise you got crazy sweaty.

You were a pretty good little traveler, once we wrestled you into your car seat.  You would thrash around and cry and arch your back as far as you could.  We certainly empathized--we were just as happy to hit the hotel every night.  You slept all right, except for the night we spent in Stratford, TX, when the trains across the street woke you up.  Driving the day after that, we saw a sign for a hotel advertising, "No Train Noise!" which made us laugh.  We spent a lot of time play peek-a-boo with stuffed animals and playing with a little musical tool box.  You did some drawing on a magnetic doodle pad.  We had a box of farm animals, so you finally learned a couple of animal noises other than, "Woof!"

The biggest thing that you learned was how to walk in shoes.  The ground was so hot that it hurt your feet.  So you went from refusing to walk in your shoes in Madison, to bringing us your shoes to put on.  Although, today you solved the problem a different way: when you stepped on the hot pavement, you said, "'Ot, 'ot," and walked over onto the lawn.  Smart girl.

You've started trying to say several words: that, drink, cheese, hot, please, dog, down.  You've started wanting to feed yourself with a spoon or fork.  You want to climb everything in sight, which is hard because we didn't bring our climber with us.  So tonight you tried climbing a folding chair in the dining room, and when I took you off of it and put it away, you cried and yelled.  I guess we'll have to find a new climber!

You seem to have more teeth coming in, at least one more on the top and maybe one more on the bottom.  Which is good, because you still want to eat everything anyone else is eating.  Today you got mad at me because I wouldn't let you have cereal in a bowl with milk and a spoon, the way Corbin was eating it.

Dad and I were talking about the fact that we might need to give you a little haircut soon.  You've got kind of a floppy mohawk going on, because your hair hasn't quite filled in on the sides yet.  I did get you some barrettes, but your hair is still too wispy for them.  Which didn't stop you from wanting to wear them.  I put one in your hair when I found them, and then you wanted all four in your hair at the same time.  I finally had to hide them because every time you saw them, you wanted to wear them.  You like to brush your own hair, too.  It makes me wonder how much grief you're going to give us about your appearance later, although part of it is that this house has a million mirrors, so for the first time in your life you can always see what you look like.  That never does anyone any favors.

Other than all of that, you're still our funny, curious, smart, happy girl.  We all love to hear you laugh, and make you smile.  You love to come up and hug our legs and try to climb us.  Sometimes when I pick you up, you'll pat me on the shoulder, like I pat you on the back.  It makes me smile every time.

Love,
Mom


Funny face girl:

 Last picture with Dad before he left in April:

 You helping us pack:

 The giant moving truck taking our stuff away:

 At the Madison house; Grandma tipped over the trike so you would climbing on it.  You are MAD:

 Sweaty head girl playing with the toy cell phone:

 Breakfast in motels:

 We were trying to change your diaper, and you climbed into the steering wheel!

 You helping me unpack (note the scab on your knee from where you fell on the same place three times):

4.4 or, Cali Kid

Dear Corbin,

We moved!  It went like this: you spent a week in Madison at the Lams' house, getting things packed and cleaned up, while I had my last week at work.  The movers came and packed up our Minneapolis house, and the dogs and I drove to Madison to meet up with you.  We sent the minivan out with a car moving company.  Then we loaded up a moving truck and started driving West.  Grandpa drove the moving truck and the rest of us, including the dogs, drove in the big van.

It was not an easy trip, but it could have been much worse.  We did not have any car trouble.  Nobody got injured.  You got car sick once, but it didn't last long and then you were fine.  You had one tantrum during the drive, but it didn't last long, thankfully.  The worst parts were when it got crazy hot in Texas and at the AZ/CA border, and the last hour when we were driving through LA traffic.  It was so hard to be so close to the end and sit in a traffic jam on the freeway!  I thought we were all going to cry.

We had a lot of fun moments.  We saw more trains than we had ever seen before.  We played video games on the tablet.  We read books.  We played a lot of peek a boo with Miriam.  We ate our meals at rest areas instead of restaurants, so that we could walk the dogs and let you guys run and play.  You helped me walk the dogs a lot, mainly Rex, who doesn't pull so much.  We stopped at a park in Kansas where they were filling up a wading pool, so that was a nice break.

You are still a very good traveler.  You went to the bathroom when we stopped, even if you said you didn't need to.  You were eager to get on the road in the mornings, and didn't even whine so much in the afternoons when we were all sick of being in the car.  You did a decent job of going to bed without any trouble.  Although, you weren't any fun to sleep next to.  You and I normally shared a hotel room, with the dogs, while Miriam stayed with Grandma and Grandpa.  I started out sleeping in the same bed as you, but you thrash around so much that I gave up after one night.  I put some pillows on either side of you, but you never seemed in any danger of falling off.

You sure were glad to see your Daddy--you asked about him all the way here.  I hated having to tell you how much longer it was going be.  We came up with all kinds of ways we could get here faster.  You wanted a rocket car, preferably one with a swimming pool in it.  I thought that would be awesome.  It was nice that we arrived on a Saturday, so that you and Dad could spend the weekend together.

But we made it, and so far it's been pretty good.  It's always hard setting up a new household.  You spend a bunch of time unpacking, and then you discover that you should have put this stuff in that drawer instead.  You can't find things, so you buy a new one, and then you find the old one in the next box that you open.  Meanwhile, you're trying to go about some kind of regular routine.  It's all very frustrating.



The house we rented is nice.  One side faces a very busy street, so it's much louder than our Minneapolis house.  The neighborhood is fine.  It's very close to a lot of useful things, so that's convenient.  I think the thing we miss the most is our yard.  This house has a tiny little back yard.  It's at least fenced, so the dogs can go out, but there isn't a lot of room to play and you really miss your climber.  We did find a dog park that is next to a playground, so we've spent a couple of mornings letting the dogs have a run and letting you play.  But we don't know any other kids yet, so you're back to being stuck with all of us adults.  Hopefully that will change soon.

I am glad that we're not going anywhere soon, but I do want to retrace some of our trip because we passed some pretty cool things that I want to visit, like Meteor Crater and the Grand Canyon.  Except this time, we'll drive there in the winter.

Love,
Mom

Picture with Dad before he left in April:

 Aunt Cele came to visit us in Minneapolis before we left:

 The giant moving truck loading up the Minneapolis house:

 The moving truck we loaded up in Madison:

 Getting ready to leave Madison:

 Last picture of you at the Madison house:

 Traveling boy:

 We played at this pool at a park in Kansas:

 You helped this guy wash the windshield of his motorcycle (after he helped us wash the windshield of the van):

 Breakfast at motels:

 Climbing rocks at a rest area in New Mexico:

 Showing off the bruise on your head from where you fell out of the moving truck:

 The giant cricket we found in the dogs' water dish in our hotel in Needles, CA:

 You've been building volcanoes out of Play-Doh:

1.2 or, Easy Come, Easy Go

Dear Miriam,

You are the easiest person in my life, right now.  As long as we keep you fed, you're happy.  That's not exactly a challenge, but it certainly is often.  Every time you see one of us eating something, you want to eat it.  Every time you see a cracker box, you want to eat them.  Every time you seem to be getting a little crabby, we feed you again.  You seem to be constantly eating, but you've only gained a half pound in the past three months.

I think it's in your head.  Your head is getting too big for some of your shirts.  The rest of you doesn't seem to be getting any bigger. You're finally getting more teeth, your two front teeth on top.  Your hair is getting longer, and it still looks red in some lights.  It curls now, when it's damp.  Your eyes seem to be getting a darker ring in the middle, but they're definitely still blue.

You still love reading books, but you've started to love your stuffed animals, too.  The other day you wandered around with Horton and your stuffed dog all day.  Corbin and I went to Como Zoo the other day, and we got you a little stuffed gorilla, so now you carry him around sometimes.

You're the only one who isn't stressed out right now.  You don't care if your toys are packed up.  You don't care if the furniture is moved or in storage.  You seem to be fine with Grandma putting you to bed, instead of Dad.  And I have to admit that I'm taking advantage of it and spending more time with Corbin.  It's not really fair to you, and it doesn't even really work very well, and it's one of the reasons that I'm looking forward to all of us being together and settled again.  I don't want to miss out on time with you.  You're our curious, smart, sweet, adventurous, funny girl, and I love you very much.

Love,
Mom

4.3 or, The Goodbye Month

Dear Corbin,

It is a time of "last."  The last weeks of school.  The last time playing at the apartment.  The last time we go to our usual stores and our usual restaurants.  The last of our patience with each other.  You and I, boy-o, we have gotten good at driving each other crazy.  I don't blame you; life is hard for you right now.  Your stuff is all packed up.  Your dad has been gone for over a month.  Your house is all different.  Your people are stressed out and unhappy and yelling at each other.  You said to me the other night, "I want our house to go back to normal."  Me, too, sweetie-pie.  Me, too.

One night, after a frustrating bed time process, we had this conversation:

C: I settled down now.
M: Yeah.  We really got each other upset, didn't we?
C: Yeah.
M: Maybe we need a magic word.  Then when we're driving each other crazy, we can say the magic word and then we can both calm down.
C: Maybe a princess could help us.
M: ....  What would a princess say?
C: She would give us a time out.
M: Oh.  That might be good advice.
C: Yeah.
M: So the next time we're driving each other crazy, we'll have a princess time out?
C: Yeah.

You throw fits because you don't get your way about things, and I know that you're desperately trying to feel that you are in control of something.  Beware this feeling.  I am entirely familiar with it, and I absolutely sympathize.  But it is very easy to become overwhelmed with trying to be in control.  It is easy to waste your time and energy worrying about things that might happen.  Do your research, yes.  Do your planning, yes.  Do not spend your life waiting for the thing that is going to go wrong.  Something will always go wrong.  Teach yourself how to adjust and adapt, even though it makes you angry or scared or tired.  Learn the value of saying, "Next time I will..." instead of, "I wish I had...."  Having experience and understanding is far better than having control.  Control you can lose, but you can only ever gain experience and understanding.

I wish I had more fun things to talk about, but it's going to have to wait until next month.

Love,
Mom

1.1 or, The Skinny

Dear Miriam,

You are making strides these days.  You are walking more, although you're still faster at crawling.  I often see you stand up and start walking toward something that you want, and then sit back down and crawl the rest of the way.  I don't know if you just want to go faster, or if you get frustrated at the amount of concentration it takes to walk instead.

We had your one year check up, at which they told us you have still not gained any weight.  You got a little bit taller, but not any fatter.  So we're trying to feed you lots of carbohydrates and healthy fats.  You love eating crackers, cheese, bagels with cream cheese, and pasta.  You still love fruit; we've been eating lots of peaches and I've been making you avocado purees.  You still only have two teeth, but you certainly manage to eat a lot.  I don't know where you're putting it if you're not gaining weight.  Yet another mystery about you.

You spent a week in Madison with the Grand Lams, getting their house ready to sell.  Grandma called me pretty often to tell me what you were up to, which was nice.  You did some walking on the porch, and got to play with lots of their friends while they cleaned and packed.  The first night there, you didn't sleep very well, and the first night home, you didn't sleep very well.  But you're back to settling down pretty well, so that's nice.

The weather finally got nice enough to be outside, and then it got cold and rainy again.  But for a whole weekend, we got to play in the front yard.  You are already trying to climb up the slide on the climbing cube, which reaffirms my thought that whatever house we end up renting needs to be close to a park or a playground.  You are always curious, and want to explore things, and we will definitely want a space where we can run around.  If it's going to be an eternal summer, we might as well take advantage of it.

The couple days of warm weather also meant that I discovered that the box in which I thought I had summer clothes for you actually contained fall clothes for you.  So I had to hunt down some shorts and t-shirts over a couple of lunch hours.  I have this vision of opening some cardboard box a year from now and finding the clothes that I thought I had for this summer.  Oops.


The biggest thing that happened this month is that Dad moved to LA.  I know you probably won't remember this time when he's gone, but it's very different for us.  I miss him a lot, of course, but he really misses us.  And you're changing so much every day--we don't know what you'll be like when we're all together again.  Will you be saying words already?  Will you look different?  And will you have to get to know him again?  I really hope this transition goes quickly, and that we're together as a family again soon.

Love,
Mom

PS: I would post some pictures here, but Dad took the camera with him.  Oops.

4.2 or, Musical Houses

Dear Corbin,

This month has been a strange month for you, and a hard month for your adults.  We started off with your Spring Break week.  Many months ago, we planned to spend Spring Break in Indy visiting the Thorne side of the family.  But when Dad got his lay off notice and we started planning our move, we had to cancel those plans.  Instead, the Grand Lams went to Madison to start getting the Madison house ready to sell.  I had already scheduled the week off from work, so we got to spend the whole week together.  It was Dad's last few days at Imation, so we got to spend time with him, too.  We ran errands and gathered up moving boxes from friends to start packing.  We rented a storage unit and began filling it up.

The next week, you went back to school and I went back to work.  Dad took his last few days at home to work on house projects.  Then on Friday of that week he started driving to LA.  I miss him very much.  This is the longest that we have spent apart since before we were married, and it's going to be much longer before we are all living together again.  I try hard to stay positive around you, and not be crabby and impatient all the time.  It's not a good idea to keep your feelings all bottled up inside--you have to find ways to relax or feel optimistic.  So I talk to Dad a lot on the phone and on the computer.  I make lists of things to accomplish each day so that I feel like I'm making progress.  Sometimes life hands you situations that are just difficult, and it's up to you to learn how to live through them as well as you can.

With Dad in LA, Grandma and Grandpa Lam are living here at the house with us.  So you and I are actually room mates right now.  It's been working out okay, except for last night when I said something about coming back to your room and you said, "I don't need company tonight."  I said, "Well, I was going to sleep in the twin bed.  Otherwise I have to sleep downstairs on the couch."  You said, "I don't mind if you sleep on the couch."  So I waited until you were asleep, and then slept in your twin bed anyway.

You spent last week in Madison, talking to all of the workers that came to house: the mason, the painter, the roofers.  You are always curious and you always want to help do the projects.  You especially had fun the day that they took a load of junk to the dump and you got to throw things into dumpsters and onto junk piles.  I spent the week getting friends and neighbors to help me do all kinds of projects: taking apart big bookcases, moving the fish tanks out of the basement, taking boxes to the storage unit.  And our friends were incredibly helpful.  When you have a chance to help a friend, try your best to do so because someday you will be the friend who needs help.  Don't be lazy about your friendships.  Be selective, be careful, but don't be lazy.

The weather is finally getting nicer.  We had very late snowfalls this year, and it finally made me decide that maybe not having winters for a while would be okay.  Over the weekend, it was finally sunny and beautiful.  Adrian and his mom and sister came over for a play date on Sunday morning.  You guys had fun running around while I put up the last of the trim in the bathroom.  Then you got a blister on your foot from the sandals that you were wearing.  We had thought that they fit okay, but they were too small.  So I brought some home today and we decided which pairs fit, so hopefully we won't have that problem again.  After all, in LA we won't be surprised when it's suddenly 70 and sunny.  We'll be surprised when it isn't.

Love,
Mom

PS: There should be a picture of you and Dad playing Go here, but the technology is being a Silly Turkey.

Happy 1st Birthday, Miriam!

Dear Miriam,

Happy first birthday!  You have to stop having birthdays now, because every time you have a birthday, Dad gets a new job.  The first time, it was okay, it just made his commute a little longer.  But this time he took a job all the way across the country!  So from now on, you're going to get older but we're not going to celebrate your birthday any more, because I'm scared to think what next year will bring.

Unless that's when we happen to move into a new house.  That might be okay.

You are a funny kid these days.  You babble at us all the time, and I swear you sound like you're saying words.  The other night we were sitting at the table eating dinner.  You were waving your hands at your bottle and I said, "Drink?  Do you want a drink?"  You said, "Dra!"  I said to your dad, "I think her first word was just 'drink'!"  He said, "She's your daughter!"  Such a funny guy.

Your temper has started showing.  When we take something away from you, or take you away from somewhere, you throw yourself around and yell.  Hopefully you'll never be the kind of kid that throws terrible fits or tantrums.  Although if you did, I suppose we all know what your dad would say about that, don't we?

Your hair is getting longer, but it's still fine and wispy.  Sometimes you'll get a curl somewhere, if you've had  your hat on or something.  It makes me wonder if you'll have hair that's not thick and straight, the way Corbin and I do.  Just more proof that your Asian genes are taking a backseat.  You are our surprising kid.

For your birthday, Grandma and Grandpa Thorne sent you a box of books and a donation to your college fund.  (Congratulations!  You have a college fund, now!)  You also got a book from Grandma and Grandpa Lam.  You love reading books.  I've gotten you into the bath-books-bedtime routine now, so now when you've got your PJs on, you head straight over to your book box.  You'll even hand me a book and then crawl onto my lap.  It's pretty cute.  Corbin and Dad and I gave you a Horton the Elephant and a Cat in the Hat, both of which you seem to like.

I have been thinking about what your life might be like in California.  I know you probably won't remember anything about living here in Minnesota.  It makes me a little sad, so I've been trying to think of ways that we'll be able to spend time back in the Midwest, especially up at the Cottage or with family.  It really feels odd to know that you won't have the same kinds of memories as I do.  I have memories of watching the geese migrate.  You will have memories of the gray whales migrating.  To someone with a strong attachment to her own family history, thoughts like that are unsettling to me.  I think we will just have to make sure that we have a lot of adventures together.  You know, for my sake.

Love,
Mom


Playing "put it in, take it out":

 Birthday movie:

4.1 or, Home Sweet Home

Dear Corbin,

I don't know where we'll be living when you start to read these letters.  When I started writing them, I assumed that we would still be living in Minnesota.  I thought that we might possibly move to Madison.  I did not think that we would ever be moving to Los Angeles.  Maybe that's where you are right now.  Maybe you're in a different city even than that.

Moving is hard.  Change is hard.  Leaving what you know is hard.  Learning new places is hard.  Moving is tiring, and frustrating, and expensive.  Selling our house is scary, and sad.  Neither your father nor I have ever lived outside the Midwest, and now you're going to be growing up in California.

But we've also been thinking that this might be good.  We'll be only a couple of hours away from Uncle Alex and Aunt Lena, so that will be great.  I haven't lived in the same state as your uncle since we were in high school.  I'm excited about that.  California has some really amazing state parks, as we saw from visiting Sequoia National Forest.  Living close to mountains could be pretty neat.  I know that LA has a ton of museums, including the La Brea Tar Pits.  I am definitely excited to go there.  Change is what you make of it, sometimes, so I'm choosing to be optimistic and see it as an adventure.

Otherwise, it's been a pretty normal month.  We were back at the Bakken to make catapults, this time with the Stauffers for some family fun.  We built an airplane out of a cardboard box.  We had my birthday, and Miriam's birthday.  You blew out her candle for her. We had this conversation:


Corbin: I'm going to count how many blocks there are! [counts to 8]
Mom: Hmm...try again.
C: [counts to 9]
M: There you go.  How many small blocks?
C: [counts to 5]
M: How many big blocks?
C: [counts to 4]
M: So 5 plus 4 equals 9.  That's math!
Dad: Hey guys.
M: We're adding up the blocks.
D: What's 4 plus 5?
C: Math!

Love,
Mom

Manifest Destiny

Thorne House is moving to Los Angeles.

The short story is that Adam has accepted a position with Beats by Dre.  He'll be moving to LA in early April.  The family will be following this summer.

The long story....

In the beginning, there was the Big Bang.  Except nothing went *bang* because there's no sound in space. Certain people decided that was unacceptable, and delved into the field of acoustic engineering.

Adam was one of those people.

Last year, he took at job at Imation in Oakdale, MN, as an acoustic technician.  It took about 3 months for him to stop grinning like a fool every day.  That's understandable: it's not every day that you get to take your garage hobby, turn it into a career path and get a raise.  We were all really excited for him.

We were less excited later when Imation announced that they would be cutting their audio department.  When we got the word that Adam would be laid off at the end of this coming June, we started the new job hunt.  One of the people that Adam reached out to was a former Imation coworker, now at Beats, who was very enthusiastic about getting Adam on the Beats staff.

Adam flew to LA for an interview on March 12th, and Beats made him a formal job offer on March 18.  (Anyone who knows me well can now have a good chuckle over how you think I did with that waiting period.)  His new job title will be Associate Acoustic Engineer, which is a nice promotion.  He'll start at Beats on April 15th.

The rest of us will move...later.  We determined that we wanted Corbin to finish the school year at his preschool, so we'll be in Minneapolis through most of May.  Also, the Madison Lams have decided to make the move with us.  I cannot say a loud enough YAY! about that.  We are so lucky and blessed and grateful for their presence in Minneapolis up to now.  I am incredibly thankful that they're willing to go on this adventure with us.

Many of you have been upholding us with thoughts and prayers and good wishes.  Thank you all so much for the good karma!  I'm sure I'll be needing some in my own job hunt, and as we consolidate three households into one and move that one across the country.  Don't be surprised to see a lot of posts about things that we've decided not to keep (you may just want to unsubscribe to my FB feed right now!).  If you know anyone who wants to live in a good house on a great block with fabulous neighbors, let us know.  We will be really sad to leave our neighborhood, and Minneapolis in general.

I'm excited for this change, and for this opportunity for Adam.  I'm excited to live only a couple of hours away from my brother and Lena.  I'm excited to live in the same city as my best friend (for the first time in 14 years).  I'm excited to take the kids to the Tar Pits and the tide pools and whale watching.  My mother is looking forward to eating her weight in avocados.  My father is looking forward to not falling on ice next winter.

In the meantime, we'll be doing our taxes.  The excitement never ends.

Month 11 or, Second Christmas

Dear Miriam,

You are almost a whole year old.  It's already funny to look at pictures of you in your first few months and see how much you've changed.  Except your eyes.  You still have blue eyes.  It's still interesting to me.

This month, you've started standing on your own.  You pull up on something else, but then you'll let go and stand for a moment.  You can also stand up by yourself, which is fun to see.  I wonder how long it will be before you start trying to take steps.

I also wonder when you'll get more teeth.  You still only have two little bottom teeth.  Which doesn't stop you from eating giant apple slices.  We've been trying to feed you up, since you didn't gain any weight last month.  You got longer but not fatter, which doesn't explain why you feel heavier every time I pick you up.

You've been making us laugh a lot lately.  You've started playing this weird game with your legs when we change your diapers.  You lift them up over your head, and then smack them down as hard as you can.  You first started doing it when you were playing in your crib, which was fine because there wasn't a chance that you'd kick me in the face.  But now the game seems to be, "How fast can Mom dodge my feet?"  Luckily, I'm winning so far.

You've picked up Corbin's habit of making weird faces every time we want to take a picture of you.  Sometimes you open your mouth like you're trying to get a photo of your tonsils.  Sometimes you scrunch your whole face up as small as you can.  Sometimes you just stick your tongue out.  You wait until you see the light that means the flash is going to go off, too, so we think we're going to get a cute picture of you and then as soon as the shutter is clicking, you grimace.  So for every cute picture of you here, we have three or four of you making horrible faces at us.  We'll save those for when you're sure to be embarrassed by them.

You still babble at us a lot, which is fun. A couple of times it's really sounded like you were trying to say a word, so I answered you like you did.  It will be interesting to see when you start saying words.  Some second kids talk later because their older siblings talk for them.  I don't know that that will be the case with you.  I think you're more likely to want your own share of the conversation.

We finally managed to have our Christmas with Grandma and Grandpa Thorne.  We all met up in Madison to visit and exchange presents.  You got some new books and a cuddly new stuffed dog.  You also got a new high chair, which is smaller than your other one, so it's more comfortable for you and it fits under the table, which Dad likes a lot.  It is always nice to spend time with Grandma and Grandpa Thorne.  They love you very much, and we don't get to see them very often.  I hope that you will take advantage of opportunities to spend time with family and to have good memories of them.  We are very lucky in our family.  You have many people who love you and want you to be happy.  I hope that you always remember this: that you have wise and smart and amazing people around you, in your grandparents, aunts and uncles.

Love,
Mom

Giant apples slices!

Opening presents:

With G&G Thorne: