Month 3, or A hat trick of tricks

Dear Miriam,

You are three months old, and you've got three new achievements.  First, you have figured out how to roll over, and now you do it almost every time I lay you down.  Sometimes it's fine, and sometimes it means you end up with a mouthful of dog hair before I can move you back onto a blanket.  I've even seen you start to move your legs like you're going to crawl.  You're good at holding your head up, but you haven't figured out how to roll back over on to your back, so eventually you get tired and start complaining until we help you.

The second trick you've started doing is reaching for things.  When I hold my hand up you grab for my fingers.  You haven't grabbed any toys yet.  I'm not sure if that's because you're suspicious of them, or because you just didn't grab them when I held them out.  Your third trick is related to this one: you found your toes.  You haven't quite stuffed them all in your mouth yet, but I'm sure it's just a matter of time.

Selfishly, I was hoping your achievement for the month would be sleeping through the night, but you clearly had other plans.  You're getting bigger, of course, sometimes noticeably day by day.  Your features are becoming more defined, although you still make funny squishy expressions with your mouth.  Your eyes are still blue.  I wonder how many months I'll write something like that because I'll still be surprised that they haven't changed to brown.

You make a lot more sounds, now.  You laugh and coo and talk to us.  You get annoyed when we leave you alone for too long, and instead of crying you'll make these annoyed sounding conversation noises.  When you're tired, you make a noise kind of like a cross between a monkey and a harmonica.  It makes me laugh.

This month you managed to develop one part of your schedule.  You are napping pretty consistently between 9am and 10am.  You usually nap in the late afternoon, but that's not quite as predictable as the morning yet.  You are still waking me up around 2am and around 5am, but you're getting better at being asleep by 10pm, so that's been nice.

You have had a couple of episodes of upset tummy.  It's always hard because you can't tell us what you're feeling, and there's only so much we can do for you anyway.  Mostly, we try to keep you upright, but sometimes that has dubious results.  The other night, Dad had just finished giving me a haircut when we heard you crying.  So he went to comfort you while I jumped in the shower.  I came downstairs just in time to watch you spit up all over him.  It was a good thing he was getting in the shower next.

It's become more natural now to think that I have two kids.  It may not make sense to you, because you won't have known anything other than our family as it is now.  But for Dad and I, our family changed drastically when Corbin was born, and again now that you're here.  It takes the brain a little while to catch up with the reality of the situation some times.  But a couple of times this month I've just been overwhelmed by how glad I am that you're part of our family.

Love,
Mom



Happy Father's Day!

 You found your toes:

 You rolled over:

 Super Baby pose:

3.4, or We don't need no stinking schedule

Dear Corbin,

This month started off with the end of the regular pre-school year and Grandma Lam's birthday in the UP.  Both of those things meant that your schedule got totally thrown off, and it nearly made both of us crazy.

Grandma's birthday was on Memorial Day this year, and she turned 70, so she decided to have a big party for herself in Menominee.  She even rented the township Hall, and we had fun decorating it with lots of balloons.  Many of our relatives came, even some of her cousins that I had never met before.  The best part for us was that Uncle Alex and Aunt Lena flew in from Norfolk.  It was the first time they were meeting Miriam, so that was fun.  You and Uncle Alex ended up playing with pulleys, which you know about from one of the Charlie Brown encyclopedias and also because there are several hanging up on the Cottage roof beams. It rained a little bit every day, sometimes in the morning and sometimes in the afternoon.  Other than that, the weather was fine and you had fun with playing with your many, many diggers.

It was really nice to spend time at the Cottage.  Lena had never been there before, so we told her lots of family history.  Some day you'll have to learn all of those stories, too.  That's one of my favorite things about being at the Cottage or in Menominee.  I think that family history is so very important, and I don't think people pay enough attention to it.  Your history is what determines your present, and family history is part of that.  After all, Dad and I have our personal histories and family histories, and that all affects how we parent you.  Being able to understand that aspect of your life can give you a lot of insights.  I was a teenager when I started learning a lot about my parents' personal and family histories, and it changed both my relationships with them and also how I thought about myself.  I hope that when you learn about your history, it gives you a sense of pride, and strength, and maybe understanding.  Learning about my parents' lives has always made me feel proud of them and grateful for what their accomplishments meant for my life.  You come from some amazing people; I hope you're able to learn and appreciate their stories.

By the time we got back from the Cottage, though, your bedtime routine had crashed and burned.  Between being in a different environment and staying up late for bonfires, I think you were in bed later than 9pm most nights.  So once we were home, we had to embark on a bit of bedtime routine recovery.  We tried just going back to our previous routine first.  It worked until we tried to get you actually into bed and going to sleep, at which point you would suddenly discover that you were hungry, or had to go potty, or needed something.  My favorite conversation went like this:

You: Mama!  Mama!
Me: What do you need, Corbin?
You: I need to ask you something.
Me: What is it?
You: I don't know.

At which point I would valiantly refrain from having primal scream therapy right there in your room.  But then I had the idea to set the alarm on your alarm clock for 8pm.  When it goes off, we tell you that it's time for us to go downstairs and do chores instead of stay upstairs and talk to you.  Since we use a timer a lot otherwise, to mark bath time or dinner time or whatever, you've accepted that limit without too much complaint.  So now our nights are back to a pretty good routine.  Except for the fact that now we have time to do chores again, I guess.

You've started the summer session at preschool.  The first day, you were a little upset because it wasn't just like the regular school year.  They have you in a different classroom and your regular teacher wasn't there the first day.  You insisted on seeing your old classroom first, before you'd go into the new one. But once you got around the other kids you were fine and you've been having fun since then.

One of the interesting things that you're doing right now is changing your pronunciation of certain sounds.  You've been concentrating on getting your "sh" sound at the beginning of words as well as the end.  You will actually pause and correct yourself when you say a word wrong.  It's kind of amazing to watch your brain in action like that.  None of us have ever made a big deal about your incorrect pronunciation, but I'm happy to see you wanting to correct it yourself. You've got a couple of years now to really get good at pronouncing sounds, before you start losing your baby teeth and go back to mis-pronouncing "ash."

Love,
Mom

Playing shuffleboard at the Cottage:

 Trying to fly a kite with Uncle Alex and Aunt Lena:

Uncle Alex took these great photos of our resident bald eagle:

We went kayaking with Aunt Cele:

You, on the way home from Grandma's birthday party:

In the garage with Grandpa, waiting for the rain to stop:

Your collection of diggers:

Playing with pulleys:

We got this weird spiny melon from the grocery store:

At the Smith-Redding house:

Miriam sitting in the Bumbo chair, when you're not using it to be a turtle:

Looking for the leak in the Spiderman punching bag:

Your "scrap metal" pile:

Playing with your "electromagnet":

Month 2, or Early Firsts

Dear Miriam,

Your second month was full of firsts, as you might imagine.  Some of them were things you might expect, but a couple of them were a bit surprising.

You had your first visit with lots of different relatives.  Grandma and Grandpa Thorne came to visit.  They were happy to meet you and start getting to know you. Up until then, they had only seen you over the computer.  It is hard for us all to spend as much time together as we would like, because we live so far away, so visits are special times.  We will keep talking to them over the computer, of course.  That's certainly one way that technology has made life better.

Grandma and Grandpa Thorne were here to help Dad take care of you while I went to conference.  I left you with them one afternoon, but I took you with me the next day, so you've already been to your first professional conference.  That was one of the firsts that was a little strange.  People at the conference were amazed that you were sleeping so peacefully in your carrier.  There was one point of the afternoon where you were fussy for a while, though.  I had to stand out in a hallway until I could shush you back to sleep.  Other than that, you were just a little sleeping conversation starter.  In fact, you started conversations the next day, too, when I didn't have you and several people asked where you were.

This was my first month back at work.  You seemed to adjust to being with Grandma and Grandpa Lam pretty well.  It took you a couple of days to get used to a bottle, and then you would only take it from Grandpa.  You've gotten over that, though, so now Grandma can feed you, too.  You don't have any kind of nap schedule yet, so that makes things a little difficult.  I expect that to start changing in a few weeks.  It'll be easier when you're more predictable.

The big thing we did this month was go up to the UP for Grandma Lam's birthday party.  She turned 70, so she threw herself a big party.  Lots of friends and relatives came, which was great.  Even Uncle Alex and Aunt Lena were able to come, so it was your first chance to spend time with them.  It was nice to see them and they thought it was very nice to see you.  It was nice to spend time at the Cottage, too.  Grandma's always loved being there, and I think it's been really special for her to have her grandchildren there with her.  There is a lot of family history in that Cottage.  You'll hear a lot of stories about it as you grow up.  I hope that you value the legacy there as much as Grandma and I do.  I hope that we have many chances to make fun memories there.  You did really well in the car, too, and it makes me hope that you continue to be a good traveler.  We're a family who likes our road trips.  Grandma's already planning one for after Uncle Alex and Aunt Lena move back to San Diego.  You've only got a year, so get ready.

Otherwise, you've just continued to grow and develop this month.  You smile at us now, which is really fun.  You seem to be on an every other day schedule.  One day you sleep all day and the next day you're awake all day.  You wake up about twice a night.  The first time is usually either midnight or 2am, and you usually just nurse and go back to sleep.  That's pretty easy to deal with.  But the second time is either 4:30 or 5am, and then you're usually fussy and it's hard to get you comfortable and back to sleep.  Getting up at 5am is not my favorite schedule, so I hope that changes soon.  If not, I guess I'll just get used to reading a lot of books and not remembering a single word of them.

 Love,
Mom

3.3, or Cloudy with a chance of Science

Dear Corbin,

It's been a busy month for us!  Grandma and Grandpa Thorne came to visit for several days.  It was nice to have so much time with them, instead of just a couple of afternoons.  We went swimming at their hotel, and we brought them to Midtown Global Market for dinner one night.  Dad and I took them out to dinner a different night, for Mother's Day and for Grandpa's birthday.  They went to school with you one morning to observe your classroom, which they enjoyed very much.

Auntie Tabetha came to visit for several days, too.  She also went to school with you one day, but not to observe your classroom.  She went to your all-school sing along, which she thought was pretty funny.  She brought you a little stuffed crow.  You carried him around pecking everything for a couple of days, and he's gone to bed with you a couple of times, too.  That's a large measure of affection for you; you often ask for stuffed animals at night, but then want to put them away before you go to sleep.

We had a fairly scientific month, as well.  You've been playing with a couple of microscopes, one at our house and one that Grandma Lam found in Madison.  We've gotten a couple of documentaries from Netflix, but they weren't about volcanoes so you didn't want to watch them more than once.  You planted tomato seeds with Grandpa Lam, and you've been watering them and watching them sprout.  The funniest thing that happened came from a trip to AxMan: we got you a giant inflatable frog that had its internal organs displayed on its stomach.  The best part, though, was that we were able to watch part of the solar eclipse on the 20th.  Dad and I made a pinhole projector and we all stood around outside projecting the eclipse onto your sketchbook.  It was fun, and it made me feel smug about my awesome scientific parenting skills.

 We narrowly avoided learning more than we wanted to know about severe weather last weekend.  We had been washing one of our big rugs on Saturday morning.  You had fun spraying it with the hose for a long time.  In the afternoon, I noticed some rain drops so we went outside to bring the rug in.  It started raining harder, so I sent you inside with your tow truck.  I grabbed the rug and ran in after you, and just then it started hailing like crazy.  Thinking about the two of us being caught outside in that hail is pretty scary.  Luckily, we didn't have any damage to the house or anything.  It rained heavily for just a short while.  After it stopped the gutters were practically flooded, so you and Dad went outside to wade around in them and float sticks down the street.

One of the changes that I've been noticing lately is in your artwork.  You have started adding more details to your drawings, which I find interesting.  Your hot air balloons now include a real basket and the burner equipment.  Your volcanoes now include a crater at the top, smoke clouds and ash, instead of only lava.  It's such a concrete demonstration of how your motor skills are developing.  It started out as just a fun observation, but when you managed to write almost your entire name on a piece of paper (copying from another sheet that Grandma wrote on) it moved into being kind of amazing.

You've been playing some new games lately.  We picked up Trouble at a yard sale, along with a checkers/tic-tac-toe board, so you played your first game of checkers with Grandma the other day.  I mentioned cuttlefish, which I thought you might remember from one of the ocean life documentaries, but you turned that into cuddle fish instead.  My favorite, though, was watching you and Dad play Venus Fly Trap, during which Dad sat on the couch with his arms open and you ran around saying, "Bzzz bzzz bzzz!" That, like so many other things that you do, made me laugh a lot.

I went back to work this month, so you've been sharing your afternoons with Miriam.  It seems to be going well.  Or at least I haven't noticed any change--you're still a bouncy little goofball when I get home.

Love,
Mom


More detailed hot air balloons:

Happy Mother's Day!

 Giant inflatable Bio Frog!

Helping Dad fix the toilet:

Science!

 You took this picture:

Month 1, or Welcome Home, Miriam

Dear Miriam,

Welcome to our family, little girl!  We love you so much and we're so happy you're here with us.  You arrived on a Monday morning that was cool and windy and rainy.  I was expecting you earlier than you came, but you were right on your due date.  You'll just have to put up with having your birthday the day before mine for the rest of your life.  Although, with the amount of friends and relatives that we have with birthdays in March, you're lucky that you're not sharing with someone that we know.

So far, you've been a pretty easy kid, which is such a blessing.  You had a bit of jaundice, so you had to sleep on a special light bed when you came home, but other than that you're very healthy.  You're up two or three times a night, and really only fussy when you're tired.  You haven't liked taking a bottle very much, but you'll have to get used to it soon, when I go back to work.  You are kind of a restless sleeper, which can be hard because it means that you want us to hold you all the time instead of laying you down.  Sometimes it's easiest to just put you in the carrier and wear you around while I do things.

I'm trying not to compare you to Corbin all the time, but it's hard to avoid.  Sometimes you remind me so strongly of him, and sometimes you just remind me of what it's like to have a newborn.  We've been surprised that you don't have any mongol marks like he did.  We keep wondering if his eyes had started changing by now, because yours have not.  You make funny faces and funny noises, like he did.  I even went back and looked at some of his baby pictures, to see if you look as alike as I felt you did.  But it's also a process of remembering just how many diapers a newborn goes through, and just how much laundry babies generate. 

I'm also trying not to be impatient with you, or myself, because I know how some things will become easier when you're older.  I have to tell myself to slow down, and to let you be yourself right now.  It makes me wonder how much you will affected by feelings of needing to grow up faster so that you can keep up with Corbin.  I know that I felt that way sometimes, and being compared to a sibling can be a hard thing to handle.  I hope that when you feel challenged that way, it is because of your own choice to challenge yourself and not because of something that you think we expect.  We have been proud and happy to be Corbin's parents, but we didn't have a second child because we wanted a second Corbin.  You are your own person, and you bring us your own unique reasons that we are be proud and happy to be your parents, too.

Love,
Mom