I love the Internet

I found this hilarious post on Craigslist:

"To the person who put half a piece of toast on my car this morning:
Why?
Now what would possess a person to discard a perfectly good piece of toast?
I agree with your choice of morning nourishment, but why not finish it?
Were you trying to share the deliciousness of the freshly baked bread?
Or were you merely showing off your excellent bread toasting skills?
I'm sure you noticed the garbage can that was a mere 20 ft from my parked car, but no- your toast had a purpose.
I thank you for the kind gesture, but as it was half-eaten I did not partake in the digesting of it.
Now I know you didn't carelessly toss the toast aside and it just happened to fall on my car, because it was so carefully (dare I say lovingly?) placed under my wiper blade. Butter side up.
Maybe I am missing something. Is there some sort of age-old tradition of distributing buttered toast as a symbol of affection, courtship, impending doom? If so I hope it's not the latter.
As I was unsure of who you might be generous-toast-weilding-man, I didn't want to physically come in contact with your little gift you left me. It took me almost 5 minutes to find a stick and poke it out from under my wiper and push it too the ground- my squirrel friends that live around the building thank you I'm sure. My boss does not , as I was late for work.
Thank you for the kind start to my morning, however tomorrow I would rather like a cup of coffee and a 3-egg omelette (extra cheese mind you) to go with it."

Which supports my theory that we are much funnier in print than we are live.