Dear Miriam,
You are the easiest person in my life, right now. As long as we keep you fed, you're happy. That's not exactly a challenge, but it certainly is often. Every time you see one of us eating something, you want to eat it. Every time you see a cracker box, you want to eat them. Every time you seem to be getting a little crabby, we feed you again. You seem to be constantly eating, but you've only gained a half pound in the past three months.
I think it's in your head. Your head is getting too big for some of your shirts. The rest of you doesn't seem to be getting any bigger. You're finally getting more teeth, your two front teeth on top. Your hair is getting longer, and it still looks red in some lights. It curls now, when it's damp. Your eyes seem to be getting a darker ring in the middle, but they're definitely still blue.
You still love reading books, but you've started to love your stuffed animals, too. The other day you wandered around with Horton and your stuffed dog all day. Corbin and I went to Como Zoo the other day, and we got you a little stuffed gorilla, so now you carry him around sometimes.
You're the only one who isn't stressed out right now. You don't care if your toys are packed up. You don't care if the furniture is moved or in storage. You seem to be fine with Grandma putting you to bed, instead of Dad. And I have to admit that I'm taking advantage of it and spending more time with Corbin. It's not really fair to you, and it doesn't even really work very well, and it's one of the reasons that I'm looking forward to all of us being together and settled again. I don't want to miss out on time with you. You're our curious, smart, sweet, adventurous, funny girl, and I love you very much.
Love,
Mom
Friday, May 31, 2013
Thursday, May 23, 2013
4.3 or, The Goodbye Month
Dear Corbin,
It is a time of "last." The last weeks of school. The last time playing at the apartment. The last time we go to our usual stores and our usual restaurants. The last of our patience with each other. You and I, boy-o, we have gotten good at driving each other crazy. I don't blame you; life is hard for you right now. Your stuff is all packed up. Your dad has been gone for over a month. Your house is all different. Your people are stressed out and unhappy and yelling at each other. You said to me the other night, "I want our house to go back to normal." Me, too, sweetie-pie. Me, too.
One night, after a frustrating bed time process, we had this conversation:
C: I settled down now.
M: Yeah. We really got each other upset, didn't we?
C: Yeah.
M: Maybe we need a magic word. Then when we're driving each other crazy, we can say the magic word and then we can both calm down.
C: Maybe a princess could help us.
M: .... What would a princess say?
C: She would give us a time out.
M: Oh. That might be good advice.
C: Yeah.
M: So the next time we're driving each other crazy, we'll have a princess time out?
C: Yeah.
You throw fits because you don't get your way about things, and I know that you're desperately trying to feel that you are in control of something. Beware this feeling. I am entirely familiar with it, and I absolutely sympathize. But it is very easy to become overwhelmed with trying to be in control. It is easy to waste your time and energy worrying about things that might happen. Do your research, yes. Do your planning, yes. Do not spend your life waiting for the thing that is going to go wrong. Something will always go wrong. Teach yourself how to adjust and adapt, even though it makes you angry or scared or tired. Learn the value of saying, "Next time I will..." instead of, "I wish I had...." Having experience and understanding is far better than having control. Control you can lose, but you can only ever gain experience and understanding.
I wish I had more fun things to talk about, but it's going to have to wait until next month.
Love,
Mom
It is a time of "last." The last weeks of school. The last time playing at the apartment. The last time we go to our usual stores and our usual restaurants. The last of our patience with each other. You and I, boy-o, we have gotten good at driving each other crazy. I don't blame you; life is hard for you right now. Your stuff is all packed up. Your dad has been gone for over a month. Your house is all different. Your people are stressed out and unhappy and yelling at each other. You said to me the other night, "I want our house to go back to normal." Me, too, sweetie-pie. Me, too.
One night, after a frustrating bed time process, we had this conversation:
C: I settled down now.
M: Yeah. We really got each other upset, didn't we?
C: Yeah.
M: Maybe we need a magic word. Then when we're driving each other crazy, we can say the magic word and then we can both calm down.
C: Maybe a princess could help us.
M: .... What would a princess say?
C: She would give us a time out.
M: Oh. That might be good advice.
C: Yeah.
M: So the next time we're driving each other crazy, we'll have a princess time out?
C: Yeah.
You throw fits because you don't get your way about things, and I know that you're desperately trying to feel that you are in control of something. Beware this feeling. I am entirely familiar with it, and I absolutely sympathize. But it is very easy to become overwhelmed with trying to be in control. It is easy to waste your time and energy worrying about things that might happen. Do your research, yes. Do your planning, yes. Do not spend your life waiting for the thing that is going to go wrong. Something will always go wrong. Teach yourself how to adjust and adapt, even though it makes you angry or scared or tired. Learn the value of saying, "Next time I will..." instead of, "I wish I had...." Having experience and understanding is far better than having control. Control you can lose, but you can only ever gain experience and understanding.
I wish I had more fun things to talk about, but it's going to have to wait until next month.
Love,
Mom
Thursday, May 02, 2013
1.1 or, The Skinny
Dear Miriam,
You are making strides these days. You are walking more, although you're still faster at crawling. I often see you stand up and start walking toward something that you want, and then sit back down and crawl the rest of the way. I don't know if you just want to go faster, or if you get frustrated at the amount of concentration it takes to walk instead.
We had your one year check up, at which they told us you have still not gained any weight. You got a little bit taller, but not any fatter. So we're trying to feed you lots of carbohydrates and healthy fats. You love eating crackers, cheese, bagels with cream cheese, and pasta. You still love fruit; we've been eating lots of peaches and I've been making you avocado purees. You still only have two teeth, but you certainly manage to eat a lot. I don't know where you're putting it if you're not gaining weight. Yet another mystery about you.
You spent a week in Madison with the Grand Lams, getting their house ready to sell. Grandma called me pretty often to tell me what you were up to, which was nice. You did some walking on the porch, and got to play with lots of their friends while they cleaned and packed. The first night there, you didn't sleep very well, and the first night home, you didn't sleep very well. But you're back to settling down pretty well, so that's nice.
The weather finally got nice enough to be outside, and then it got cold and rainy again. But for a whole weekend, we got to play in the front yard. You are already trying to climb up the slide on the climbing cube, which reaffirms my thought that whatever house we end up renting needs to be close to a park or a playground. You are always curious, and want to explore things, and we will definitely want a space where we can run around. If it's going to be an eternal summer, we might as well take advantage of it.
The couple days of warm weather also meant that I discovered that the box in which I thought I had summer clothes for you actually contained fall clothes for you. So I had to hunt down some shorts and t-shirts over a couple of lunch hours. I have this vision of opening some cardboard box a year from now and finding the clothes that I thought I had for this summer. Oops.
The biggest thing that happened this month is that Dad moved to LA. I know you probably won't remember this time when he's gone, but it's very different for us. I miss him a lot, of course, but he really misses us. And you're changing so much every day--we don't know what you'll be like when we're all together again. Will you be saying words already? Will you look different? And will you have to get to know him again? I really hope this transition goes quickly, and that we're together as a family again soon.
Love,
Mom
PS: I would post some pictures here, but Dad took the camera with him. Oops.
You are making strides these days. You are walking more, although you're still faster at crawling. I often see you stand up and start walking toward something that you want, and then sit back down and crawl the rest of the way. I don't know if you just want to go faster, or if you get frustrated at the amount of concentration it takes to walk instead.
We had your one year check up, at which they told us you have still not gained any weight. You got a little bit taller, but not any fatter. So we're trying to feed you lots of carbohydrates and healthy fats. You love eating crackers, cheese, bagels with cream cheese, and pasta. You still love fruit; we've been eating lots of peaches and I've been making you avocado purees. You still only have two teeth, but you certainly manage to eat a lot. I don't know where you're putting it if you're not gaining weight. Yet another mystery about you.
You spent a week in Madison with the Grand Lams, getting their house ready to sell. Grandma called me pretty often to tell me what you were up to, which was nice. You did some walking on the porch, and got to play with lots of their friends while they cleaned and packed. The first night there, you didn't sleep very well, and the first night home, you didn't sleep very well. But you're back to settling down pretty well, so that's nice.
The weather finally got nice enough to be outside, and then it got cold and rainy again. But for a whole weekend, we got to play in the front yard. You are already trying to climb up the slide on the climbing cube, which reaffirms my thought that whatever house we end up renting needs to be close to a park or a playground. You are always curious, and want to explore things, and we will definitely want a space where we can run around. If it's going to be an eternal summer, we might as well take advantage of it.
The couple days of warm weather also meant that I discovered that the box in which I thought I had summer clothes for you actually contained fall clothes for you. So I had to hunt down some shorts and t-shirts over a couple of lunch hours. I have this vision of opening some cardboard box a year from now and finding the clothes that I thought I had for this summer. Oops.
The biggest thing that happened this month is that Dad moved to LA. I know you probably won't remember this time when he's gone, but it's very different for us. I miss him a lot, of course, but he really misses us. And you're changing so much every day--we don't know what you'll be like when we're all together again. Will you be saying words already? Will you look different? And will you have to get to know him again? I really hope this transition goes quickly, and that we're together as a family again soon.
Love,
Mom
PS: I would post some pictures here, but Dad took the camera with him. Oops.
Wednesday, May 01, 2013
4.2 or, Musical Houses
Dear Corbin,
This month has been a strange month for you, and a hard month for your adults. We started off with your Spring Break week. Many months ago, we planned to spend Spring Break in Indy visiting the Thorne side of the family. But when Dad got his lay off notice and we started planning our move, we had to cancel those plans. Instead, the Grand Lams went to Madison to start getting the Madison house ready to sell. I had already scheduled the week off from work, so we got to spend the whole week together. It was Dad's last few days at Imation, so we got to spend time with him, too. We ran errands and gathered up moving boxes from friends to start packing. We rented a storage unit and began filling it up.
The next week, you went back to school and I went back to work. Dad took his last few days at home to work on house projects. Then on Friday of that week he started driving to LA. I miss him very much. This is the longest that we have spent apart since before we were married, and it's going to be much longer before we are all living together again. I try hard to stay positive around you, and not be crabby and impatient all the time. It's not a good idea to keep your feelings all bottled up inside--you have to find ways to relax or feel optimistic. So I talk to Dad a lot on the phone and on the computer. I make lists of things to accomplish each day so that I feel like I'm making progress. Sometimes life hands you situations that are just difficult, and it's up to you to learn how to live through them as well as you can.
With Dad in LA, Grandma and Grandpa Lam are living here at the house with us. So you and I are actually room mates right now. It's been working out okay, except for last night when I said something about coming back to your room and you said, "I don't need company tonight." I said, "Well, I was going to sleep in the twin bed. Otherwise I have to sleep downstairs on the couch." You said, "I don't mind if you sleep on the couch." So I waited until you were asleep, and then slept in your twin bed anyway.
You spent last week in Madison, talking to all of the workers that came to house: the mason, the painter, the roofers. You are always curious and you always want to help do the projects. You especially had fun the day that they took a load of junk to the dump and you got to throw things into dumpsters and onto junk piles. I spent the week getting friends and neighbors to help me do all kinds of projects: taking apart big bookcases, moving the fish tanks out of the basement, taking boxes to the storage unit. And our friends were incredibly helpful. When you have a chance to help a friend, try your best to do so because someday you will be the friend who needs help. Don't be lazy about your friendships. Be selective, be careful, but don't be lazy.
The weather is finally getting nicer. We had very late snowfalls this year, and it finally made me decide that maybe not having winters for a while would be okay. Over the weekend, it was finally sunny and beautiful. Adrian and his mom and sister came over for a play date on Sunday morning. You guys had fun running around while I put up the last of the trim in the bathroom. Then you got a blister on your foot from the sandals that you were wearing. We had thought that they fit okay, but they were too small. So I brought some home today and we decided which pairs fit, so hopefully we won't have that problem again. After all, in LA we won't be surprised when it's suddenly 70 and sunny. We'll be surprised when it isn't.
Love,
Mom
PS: There should be a picture of you and Dad playing Go here, but the technology is being a Silly Turkey.
This month has been a strange month for you, and a hard month for your adults. We started off with your Spring Break week. Many months ago, we planned to spend Spring Break in Indy visiting the Thorne side of the family. But when Dad got his lay off notice and we started planning our move, we had to cancel those plans. Instead, the Grand Lams went to Madison to start getting the Madison house ready to sell. I had already scheduled the week off from work, so we got to spend the whole week together. It was Dad's last few days at Imation, so we got to spend time with him, too. We ran errands and gathered up moving boxes from friends to start packing. We rented a storage unit and began filling it up.
The next week, you went back to school and I went back to work. Dad took his last few days at home to work on house projects. Then on Friday of that week he started driving to LA. I miss him very much. This is the longest that we have spent apart since before we were married, and it's going to be much longer before we are all living together again. I try hard to stay positive around you, and not be crabby and impatient all the time. It's not a good idea to keep your feelings all bottled up inside--you have to find ways to relax or feel optimistic. So I talk to Dad a lot on the phone and on the computer. I make lists of things to accomplish each day so that I feel like I'm making progress. Sometimes life hands you situations that are just difficult, and it's up to you to learn how to live through them as well as you can.
With Dad in LA, Grandma and Grandpa Lam are living here at the house with us. So you and I are actually room mates right now. It's been working out okay, except for last night when I said something about coming back to your room and you said, "I don't need company tonight." I said, "Well, I was going to sleep in the twin bed. Otherwise I have to sleep downstairs on the couch." You said, "I don't mind if you sleep on the couch." So I waited until you were asleep, and then slept in your twin bed anyway.
You spent last week in Madison, talking to all of the workers that came to house: the mason, the painter, the roofers. You are always curious and you always want to help do the projects. You especially had fun the day that they took a load of junk to the dump and you got to throw things into dumpsters and onto junk piles. I spent the week getting friends and neighbors to help me do all kinds of projects: taking apart big bookcases, moving the fish tanks out of the basement, taking boxes to the storage unit. And our friends were incredibly helpful. When you have a chance to help a friend, try your best to do so because someday you will be the friend who needs help. Don't be lazy about your friendships. Be selective, be careful, but don't be lazy.
The weather is finally getting nicer. We had very late snowfalls this year, and it finally made me decide that maybe not having winters for a while would be okay. Over the weekend, it was finally sunny and beautiful. Adrian and his mom and sister came over for a play date on Sunday morning. You guys had fun running around while I put up the last of the trim in the bathroom. Then you got a blister on your foot from the sandals that you were wearing. We had thought that they fit okay, but they were too small. So I brought some home today and we decided which pairs fit, so hopefully we won't have that problem again. After all, in LA we won't be surprised when it's suddenly 70 and sunny. We'll be surprised when it isn't.
Love,
Mom
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