3.4 or, Dinos at Home

Dear Miriam,

You came home at last!  You were gone for a whole month.  You traveled 5012 miles, which is quite a lot of driving.  It was much easier than last year, though, since your schedule was determined along the way, instead of before hand.  You got to visit the Thornes and Spencers in Indianapolis, which was really great.  And then you spent a week in Lower Michigan at Aunt Alice's cottage on Lake Michigan.  On the way back, you stopped to visit some of Grandpa Lam's family in St. Louis again, and you all went up in the big Arch.  I asked what you saw from so high up, and you said, "A large barge!"  That is a joke from the Okee Dokee Brothers album about the Mississippi River.  Then you went to Meramec Caverns, which you thought was pretty cool.  You got to see fireworks, and go on a hayride.  You also stopped at the Mesalands Dinosaur museum, and so you came home with yet another stuffed dinosaur and pink Dino Girl t-shirt.

Last summer, you drove through some terrible weather, and I was constantly calling Grandma to make sure you hadn't all blown away to Oz.  This summer, the weather was better, but you almost got delayed by a brush fire on your way home.  The last day that you were driving home, I had to call and warn you that Interstate 15 was closed due to a fire.  You were able to see the smoke from where you had camped near Barstow.  Fortunately, by the next morning, there were some lanes open and you were able to get through.

While you were gone, Dad and I started painting the family room.  It's much nicer.  It's a lighter green now, and the walls look clean and pretty.  Painting can be kind of a boring task, but the results are worth it.  Fortunately, this time, you didn't tell me that you liked the old color better.

We built a new climber, using real climbing holds.  It's much bigger than the other climber, which is good because I think you grew an inch while you were away.  Dad already has plans to make it even bigger, too, although that won't happen for another few years.  You like to be on top of it, pretending you're a lizard.  You always get squirrelly after dinner, so it's nice to be able to send you outside to play on the new climber.

The first night that you were home, we were walking upstairs to get ready for bed and you told me, "I was gone a long time, and you missed me."  Yes, you were, and yes, I did.

Love,
Mom


The fire on I15, on your way home:

Painting the family room:

Playing on the climber (in your new Dino Girl shirt):

Playing on Dad:

6.5 or, Home Through the Smoke

Dear Corbin,

You finally came home!  You were gone for a whole month.  You covered 5012 miles in the motor home.  Grandpa said it was those last 12 miles that were the really hard ones.

You got to visit some of Grandpa Lam's family in St. Louis.  Then you visited the Thornes and Spencers in Indy.  Then you visited Grandma Lam's family in lower Michigan.  You went up in the Gateway Arch, and down into the Meramec Cavern.  You played in sand on the beach and on sand dunes.  You got to see fireworks and go on a hay ride.  It was a much more relaxed trip this time, since you made up your schedule as you went along.  Last year, you drove through some tornado weather.  This year, the last day you were on the road, there was a wildfire on Interstate 15, just outside of LA County.  You had already stopped for the night near Barstow, but you could see and smell the smoke where you were camped.  Fortunately, by the next morning, there were a few lanes open on the highway, and you were able to come home.

While you were gone, Dad and I started painting the family room.  It's a much nicer, lighter, green.  It makes the whole room brighter.  Painting is not always my favorite thing to do, but it's pretty easy and the results are worth the effort.  After the family room, we'll have to see how hard it is for me to get Dad to do the living room.

We also made a new climber for the backyard.  That was more fun, seeing as how we got to use the new table saw.  We ordered climbing wall holds for it, so it's a real climbing cube.  You use it as a fort, stocking it with all of your swords and guns and army guys.  Sometimes it's a spider web, wrapped in the big orange yarn.  It's much larger than the other climber, and very heavy and sturdy.  So hopefully it will last for a long time.  Dad already has plans to add on to the top of it when you're older and need more climbing space.

I think that you got taller while you were gone.  I guess that makes sense.  You certainly got tan, which is ironic, since you went on vacation away from sunny CA.  You are lucky to be able to travel with Grandma and Grandpa.  I'm glad you're able to experience different places, and stay in touch with all of your relatives.  Travel is good for your mind, but coming home is good for your soul.

Love,
Mom


The fire:

New paint!

New climber!

Same family!

3.3 or, Falling For You

Dear Miriam,

You were only home for the first half of June, but you managed to make it memorable.

We went to a dinner party at the Jorgensen's, just down the street.  We'd been there for about 20 minutes when Celia told her mother that she couldn't find you.  I walked back to our house and there you were, sitting on the front porch.  I asked you what happened, and you said, "I couldn't find you."  Four other adults and four other children in the house, but do you ask anyone for help?  No.  In your usual fashion, you're just off into the world to solve your own problems.

Your usual fashion also included falling down a lot.  When you came back to the party, and were playing with the other children, you got pushed and fell down and got some scrapes on your face.  The next day, you climbed up into the little magnolia tree and fell out of it when a branch broke.  That same day, you fell backwards off of the porch onto the lawn.  Two days later, you fell into the aloe plant and got long scratches all over your arms.  A few days after that, you almost fell out of another tree, but I caught you upside down by the leg.  I don't know whether to start you on the trapeze or encase you in bubble wrap.

Grandma and Grandpa were getting ready to take you on a trip back to the Midwest.  Part of that included getting you started on potty training.  You hadn't been very interested, but then we just decided to stop letting you wear diapers.  After that, you picked things up pretty fast.  I did not make the same mistake with you that I made when Corbin potty trained, though.  I had already given away his smaller size shorts, but his waist got so much smaller when he started wearing underwear instead of diapers that I had to sew extra elastic into all of his new shorts.  So with you, I made sure that I didn't give away your 2T shorts when I gave away all of your 2T t-shirts and dresses.

It was Father's Day this month.  We got Dad some new music, of course, and Grandma had helped you pick out some funny cards.  And then you left on your trip.  The first day, I was very sad.  I had left for work before you were awake, so Dad got to say goodbye to you, but I did not.  Only the dogs were there when I got home, which felt lonely.  The first weekend was very strange, too, being home with just Dad.  It's been a long time since we had a house but no kids.

I hope that you have a house and children someday, if that's what you want.  I would say that I hope you also learn how to live independently, but I don't think that is a skill that you'll need.  I think rather that you will need to learn how to live so that your independence doesn't scare the life out of your friends and family.  Which is not to say that I hope you change.  You're my fierce dinosaur girl, and that's just the way you should be.

Love,
Mom

6.4 or, Summer Stories

Dear Corbin,

You are officially done with Kindergarten.  This is the very first true summer vacation for you.  About a hundred more and then you'll be done with school.  You don't seem either happy or unhappy about the end of the school year.  I imagine that will change as time goes on.

The beginning of June was spent getting ready for your trip back to the Midwest.  Grandma and Grandpa did their shopping and packing.  Dad got you ready by giving you a haircut.  I picked up a new pair of shoes for you.  All the Kindergarteners brought home a math and reading workbook, which you took along to do in the motor home, along with all kinds of drawing and activity books.

One thing that hasn't changed over the past few months is your love of stories at night.  One night I asked you what the story should be about, and you said a dragon.  So for a while, we were telling stories about a dragon that accidentally ended up hatching in an eagle's nest, with two eagles.  Your favorite of those stories what the time that the dragon learned how to breath fire because a it got attacked by a bear.

Then, you wanted me to tell you stories about a sea creature with eight tentacles and lots of sharp teeth.  A Sharktopus.  The Sharktopus lives in Never Never Land, in a lagoon with the Pirates, the Lost Boys and the Tick Tock Crock.  Then came an eagle, an eel, a few more sharktopuses (to keep the first one company), a regular old shark, and another eel (to keep the first one company).  Oh, and a whale, at one point, to help the Sharktopus get back home when he got lost in the ocean.

You don't believe me when I tell you that it's hard to make up so many stories.  It's a good thing I got all that practice when I used to make up ridiculous songs, I guess.  Although, to be honest, I'm still quite proud of "I'm a big volcano" to the tune of "I'm a little teapot."

It was Father's Day this month.  We got Dad some new cd's, which he always likes.  Grandma helped you and Miriam pick out some funny cards.  She didn't bother putting them in envelopes, which was a good call, because you got all excited about showing it to Dad, and I think the thirty second wait for Dad to open an envelope might have been more than you could bear.

And then it was time for you to leave on your trip to the Midwest.  I gave you big hugs and kisses in the morning, but when I came home to just the dogs that evening, I was very sad.  It was very strange the first weekend, especially.  It was nice to spend time with Dad, but we both felt the house was much too quiet without you and Miriam around.  You are noisy and annoying and you pester us and drive us crazy, and we love you very, very much.

Love,
Mom

The Summer Trip, 2015

On the road in Tucumcari, NM:

Mesalands Community College Dinosaur Museum:

Indianapolis, with the Spencer Cousins:

At the Romsek's Cottage in Lower MI:

Silver Lake State Park, MI:

"Homeless Wonders" in St. Louis:

Up into the Gateway Arch, St. Louis:

Somewhere on the road:

All tripped out:

3.2 or, My Favorite Sweaty Mess

Dear Miriam,

It was Grandma's birthday this month.  We gave her a new porch swing for the front porch, and a book of meditations that I picked up when Dad and I went up to the Redwoods in January.  I helped you write your name in a birthday card that said, "Home is where Grandma is," which is certainly true.  I'm so grateful that she and Grandpa moved to California with us.  It has made everything so much easier for us.  You should try to make it more worth her while, instead of running off naked every time she's halfway through changing your diaper.

We didn't do a birthday cake for Grandma.  Instead, we did an ice cream sundae bar, and everyone got to have their own sundae.  I scooped some ice cream in a bowl for you, and then every time we asked you if you wanted a topping, you said yes.  Then you just ate the ice cream and not the toppings.  Of course.

Uncle Alex and Aunt Lena came up to celebrate with us.  They were wondering about the lack of cake.  I told them that Grandma always wants an ice cream cake, but I think they're too much trouble.  So this was our fun compromise.  Aunt Lena was a bit scandalized that the birthday person didn't get to have the dessert that she wanted, which made Grandma and I laugh.

Your stuffed animals have been getting enough play time that I've been sewing them back together.  I had to sew up a little penguin.  I had to sew up a turtle puppet.  One day, I had to sew Mrs. Rabbit's legs back on.  A few days later, I found her riding a dragon.  It's no wonder they need maintenance.

There was a book fair at school, so you got to get a new book.  You chose one that's all about meat eating insects.  It came with a big, rubbery centipede, which I think is disgusting.  We have read the book a few times, but I think you really just wanted the centipede.  Yuck.

It was School Fiesta time, too.  When I got there, you had already been in the bouncy house and were waiting to get your face painted.  Corbin got a blue dragon, and you got a green dinosaur.  Then you went back in the bouncy house and got all sweaty and the face paint all melted down all over your neck and dress.  I was worried that the big kids would bounce you around too much, but you didn't seem to mind them.  You were mad when we made you get out so we could go home.  You kept squirming around, and crying, and I was trying to hold on to you but not get sweaty face paint all over myself.  It was a mess.  You were so sweaty and gross that I put you and Corbin into the bathtub together as soon as we got home.

We had a visit from some relatives from Grandpa Lam's side of the family.  His younger sister Delma and her daughter Amy's family had driven out from Kansas City to go to Disneyland.  So they stopped by one afternoon to visit.  Their kids, Nathan and Olivia, came with them.  I haven't seen them since they came to our wedding--before kids, of course--so it was very nice to have them visit.

We got a box of clothes from Sofia Chapman (via her mom, Becky).  There were a couple of t-shirts, some nice leggings, and about a million dresses.  One of the dresses was a cheetah print, so you demanded to wear it right away so that you could be a cheetah.  I call you my favorite girl a lot, and lots of times you tell me that you're my favorite puppy, or pony, or lion instead.  I made you some dinosaur shirts this month, too, using some iron on patches and some plain t-shirts.  Unless your tastes start lining up with dominant American culture, it's going to mean some creative clothing options.  To be honest, though, I would rather iron patches on t-shirts for the rest of your life than have you wear clothes that you don't like, just because think you should wear them.  Life is too short for that kind of nonsense.

Love,
Mom

6.3 or, Necessary Fun

Dear Corbin,

In May, you finally wore out the sneakers that you started wearing at the beginning of the school year.  I had been surprised at how well they were holding up.  Then one day I looked at them and there were holes in both of them.  It was like they were fine for 10 months, and then 10 months and one day later...BAM. They were falling apart.  So we got your new sneakers out of your closet.  They're only a smidge too big for you, but somehow they make your feet look huge.  Possibly because the rest of you is still so skinny.

Dad started re-constituting his woodworking equipment, which meant several trips to Home Depot and Lowe's with him grinning like a fool.  The garage has filled up with a new air compressor, and a new table saw.  Then he built a dust collection system for the table saw, which meant a new shop-vac and a hose set-up that makes it appear as though the table saw is actually some kind of large squid.  You were happy to help with that for a while, but you have an aversion to power tool noise.  You were wearing Dad's good ear protectors for a while, which was funny looking.

We were at school twice this month.  I joked to Mrs. Hedley that it was our way of convincing everyone that you weren't actually an orphan.  There was an Open House, which I thought was very interesting.  You got to show us a portfolio of your classroom work, and we chatted with Mrs. Hedley for a while.  Then we ran into the Jorgensons, and Celia showed us all around her 1st Grade classroom.  It was really fun to see what you might get to work on next year.

The week after that was the School Festival.  You played a couple of the little carnival games, and then you got your face painted up like a dragon.  Then you went in the bouncy house and the bouncy obstacle course, and the paint sweated off your face and onto your shirt.  It was kind of gross.  You and Miriam went into the tub together as soon as we all got home.

You had some play dates this month, too.  You got to spend an afternoon at Carter's house one weekend.  Carter was happy to see you.  Becky and Suren were saying that you must be old enough to sleep over now, so maybe that will happen sometime soon.  Then we had a visit from my Aunt Delma, Grandpa Lam's younger sister, and her daughter Amy's family.  Amy and Neal used to live in California, so they had fun telling stories about that.  You had fun playing with their son, who is a few years older than you are.

The end of the month was Grandma's birthday.  Every time it's someone's birthday, Grandma says we should get an ice cream cake, and I always tell her its way too much trouble.  So instead, we did an Ice Cream Sundae Bar.  We got a couple flavors of ice cream, and all kinds of toppings, and we each made ourselves a sundae.  For presents, we gave her a new front porch swing, and a little book of meditations that I got when Dad and I were up in the Redwoods.  Grandma told me once that she was going to live until she was 96 (or was it 93?) which gives us another 20 years for her to try and convince me to have an ice cream cake for someone's birthday.

We had fewer fights over homework this month.  We started doing a little at night, and a little in the morning, and that seems to be useful.  For a while now you've had the assignment to write a sentence every night.  I kept trying to get you to write long, silly sentences, but you kept wanting to write a little as possible.  Dad came up with the idea to write about a theme each week, and that seemed to make it a lot more fun for you.  Being able to have fun while you get necessary work done is an important skill.  Life is full of tasks that aren't inherently much fun at all, which can make them easy to avoid.  Dad, of course, is fond of playing loud music while he does chores.  I like to have company, unless I'm really trying to concentrate.  Find ways to make life fun.  Unless it's having ice cream cakes.  You can forget about that.

Love,
Mom

3.1 or, Blue-pers

Dear Miriam,

April made up for March being somewhat quiet.  It's been a really busy month.

Dad was gone for two weeks at the beginning of the month.  He was in China again, and missed two weekends with you.  He almost missed submitting our taxes on time, but we managed to see our tax dude on the 15th.  I tried to keep with my usual schedule, but it's easy for me to stay up much too late when he's not home.

The first week that he was gone was also Corbin's spring break.  My cousin Dave and his family were out to visit people here and in San Diego.  You got to go to the beach and Cabrillo Aquarium with them, which you all enjoyed very much.  Then Grandma and Grandpa took you on a trip for a few days.  You went to see the Grand Canyon, Sunset Crater Volcano National Monument, and then the Dinosaur Tracks in Tuba City, AZ, which you thought were great.  You even asked the guide if he was a paleontologist.  Then you went to see Meteor Crater, which you also liked.  Their gift shop had a little stuffed t-rex, which you declared was the baby t-rex who you had to bring home to his mommy.  I've already sewed Baby T-Rex up twice.  I don't think he was meant for dance parties, really.

While everyone was gone, I painted your bathroom blue.  It had been brown, the whole thing, even the ceiling.  It was like giving you a bath in a cave.  I didn't like it at all.  We've been decorating it with a lighthouse theme, do I thought I'd paint it a nice light blue.  When you came home, we had this conversation:

You: Is my bathroom blue now?
Me: Yes, isn't it much prettier?
You: I don't like blue.  I like brown.
Me: Why don't we paint your room brown?  Would you like that?
You: Yes!

Which is great, because right now your room is gray and pink and I would be more than happy to change it.

You got to go back to the dentist this month.  This time, you didn't cry at the x-rays, and you did cry when the dentist wanted to examine you.  It's always a toss-up about which part you don't like.  Dentist says everything's looking fine.  Your tooth fragment hasn't moved, and your teeth look good.  On the way out, you wanted to ride in the little robot in the waiting room, and when I didn't let you ride it more than one time, you cried and cried.  You cried all the way home.  You cried when I went back to work.  Grandpa told me later that you cried for almost an hour.  Next time, I'll send Dad with you.

You got a late birthday present from Grandma and Grandpa Thorne.  They had mailed a box the week before our birthdays, but we didn't get it until several weeks later.  I'm not sure why the mail service here is so slow, but at least this box didn't go from LA to Texas and back for no reason, like one box from them did.  They sent a gift card for me, which I promptly spent on books.  They sent you a toy lawn mower that blows bubbles, which you and Corbin think is awesome.  You take turns pushing it around while the other one chases the bubbles.  It's very funny.  They also sent you two new outfits, which you and Grandma liked because they're "girly" clothes.

I think Grandma's afraid that I'll never teach you anything about being a mainstream American girl, and she's probably got a point.  You'll have to depend on your aunties for that stuff.  I will always be happy to help you connect with the other women in our lives, and they will always be happy to talk to you about girly stuff, or anything else.  I, on the other hand, will be the one ironing patches onto t-shirts so that you can have dinosaur shirts that don't come from the boys section.

You got your first hair cut this month, speaking of girly things.  I didn't like it at first, because it got too short to be in side pony-tails.  But now we just pull the front back into a top pony tail and that works well.  When I brush it out at night, you get this little flip at the end.  It's cute.

I did manage to be girly and put a dress on for the fundraiser dinner for Corbin's school.  Dad even put a tie on.  You'd never seen either of us dressed up, so you thought it was all very interesting.  You kept telling us how spiffy we looked.  It was funny.  There are a million awesome things about being a girl; you just have to find the things that you love about it, and not worry about the rest.

Love,
Mom

Bubble mower:

New outfit:

I made you dinosaur shirts:

6.2 or, Caterpillars Are Awesome

Dear Corbin,

April was a busy month.  Dad spent two weeks in China, at the beginning of the month.  He was originally supposed to be gone for 10 days, but they made him stay for two full weeks.  Times like those I am so very grateful that we have Grandma and Grandpa Lam with us.  I'm glad that I don't have to do everything by myself when Dad is gone.

It was your Spring Break the first week, too, so that kept us from missing Dad too much right away.  My cousin David Ross and his family were here to visit us and some other friends.  They came over for a short visit one afternoon, and then you got to spend a day with them at the beach and Cabrillo Aquarium.  You had a lot of fun; it was a good day.

You spent the rest of your Spring Break on a short trip with Grandma and Grandpa.  You went to the Grand Canyon, then Dinosaur Tracks, the Sunset Crater Volcano, then Meteor Crater.  It was a nerdy trip, now that I think about it, but full of the things you've always liked.  You were disappointed not to do some of the hiking trails around Sunset Crater and Meteor Crater, but you thought the dinosaur tracks were really great.

While you were gone, I painted your bathroom blue.  It had been brown.  Even the ceiling.  And the floor is brown tile.  It was like a cave, and I didn't like it at all.  It's much nicer now.  Although I keep saying that in about five years we're going to redo it all and put in a new vanity and new fixtures.  But for now, it's just nice to have it be pretty and bright.  At least, it's nice for me.  You don't seem to care either way.

It was Science Fair this month.  You and Dad put your display board together, Grandma took you to the library for some research, and I helped you write up your research paper.  You watched me type it up, and you thought my typing speed was pretty impressive.  That made me laugh.  The day that you took it to school, Mrs. Hedley let you present it to your class and call on some kids to answer questions.  Then Dad and I went with you to the actual Science Fair and we had fun looking at all of the other projects.

Dad and I went to the fundraiser dinner for your school, with Evan's parents and Celia's parents.  It was at the country club, so we dressed up.  You've seen me in a dress at least once before, but you had never seen Dad in a tie.  You thought it was all very fancy, and you were quite disappointed that kids were not going to the party.  We saw Mrs. Hedley there, and she said very nice things about you, which she always does.  I always like to hear that you're doing well in class.

At bedtime, you've started to read books to me, instead of me reading to you.  I love it.  Then, after it's lights out, you make me tell you stories.  Lately, you've made me tell you stories about a Sharktopus that lives in Never Never Land.  He hangs out with the Lost Boys, doesn't like the Pirates, and plays pranks on the Crocodile.  It's never dull around you.

Love,

Mom

Science!

At the neighbor's birthday party: