Month the Twelfth: December 2006

In which our hero and our heroine agree: we need more sleep

Adath's Suessical went up. The parents loved it.

I started rehearsals for The Jeweler's Shop, because Kidder fired his SM and begged me to take over.

Adam started working on the amp for his new speakers.

I'm still working at the bookstore, too.

We went to Madison for Christmas.

Adam's parents came up to stay at our house this week.

We get to see Smochs tomorrow night while she's visiting from Korea.

We get to see Annie on Saturday night while she's visiting from NYC.

WHERE'S THE SNOW??

And a partridge in a pear tree. Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week. Please tip your wait staff.

Month the Eleventh: November 2006

In which our hero buys the sports car of his dreams

Okay, well, it's not quite Adam's dream car, but it's pretty sweet all on it's own. We ended up one weekend with three cars that didn't run and I had a fit and demanded that we go and buy a new car. So we did. We bought a 2003 Nissan Sentra SER Spec V, a Sunburst Yellow 6-speed, and Adam's been thoroughly enjoying it. He's enjoying it so much that he's blocked all memory of having the 1993 Sentra, which is still in the driveway. Anyone want it? Put a new clutch in, it's all yours!

I was still in rehearsals for the youth group musical, which was slowly looking like it might fool the parents into thinking it was actually theatre, and working at the bookstore, which was slowly contributing to a list of possible Christmas presents for our families.

With the dining room project done, Adam launched into a project for himself--he built himself a pair of stereo speakers. They sound quite good, too, which has made several of his guy friends suggest a similar project for themselves, which would be fun for Adam but unfortunate for the list of projects that I wrote for Adam to do. Go figure.

Erin and Scott stopped by right before Thanksgiving on their drive from WA to IN, going back for one of Erin's job placements and hoping to find a job for Scott and stay in the Indy area. We never get to spend enough time with them, so it was really nice to be able to host them for a few days.

My parents came up for Thanksgiving, which was nice since we were so busy up here. Mom did some Christmas shopping at the bookstore, and Dad made super yummy Cornish Rock Hens for Thanksgiving dinner. It was lovely, as usual. I'm sure one of these days, they'll get tired of always coming up for Thanksgiving, but until then I'm going to enjoy the fact that they do!

Month the Tenth: October 2007

In which our hero and his dog have their birthdays and our heroine gets busy

Adam turned 32, Arrow turned 1, and Erin turned 30. For her birthday, we bought Erin a book called 1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die. Which lived in Adam's car for several weeks until I finally sent her another copy from the bookstore.

Ah, yes. The bookstore. I started working a part time job at the downtown Barnes & Noble, mostly to afford a new car, but also because life is just better with a discount on books. I had also started rehearsals with the Adath Youth Group on their production of Suessical, so any night that I wasn't at rehearsal, I was at the bookstore, and so weekends became the precious house project time.

We had promised ourselves that the dining room would be done by Adam's birthday party, so we were working hard toward that goal. Adam completed the refinishing process on the wood trim, which looks beautiful. We spent an afternoon scrubbing the hardwood floor until that looked nice again. Then we put the rug down, and revelled in what an awesome job we did choosing paint colors. Most of the furniture went back in, and a few of the art pieces went back on the walls, and we were party-ready. In all, that project is 90% done. We still need to replace the outlet hardware and put up curtains, and then it will be complete!

I also went to the eye doctor for the first time in 5 years and ordered myself new glasses. It's amazing how much nicer life is when you can see it clearly. There's all kinds of cliches there that I'm not going to say.

Month the Ninth: September 2006

In which our heroine paints picture rails and then goes on vacation with our hero

With the dining room finally painted, it was time to put up the picture rails. Since our house is over 90 years old, the walls are built out of plaster and lathe, which makes it difficult to hang anything on the wall. Since I refuse to live without artwork, we decided that picture rails were a good idea. I also refused to spend the time making them match the existing trim, so I simply painted them the same color as the walls they are on. We also put picture rails in the upstairs hallway, but those aren't quite finished yet.

We spend the third week of September up at the Cottage with my parents, Alex and Amanda. My cousin Tim took us four-wheeling on some of the trails that they've been building by the hunting camps. We had a lot of fun with that. We also drove up to do some sight seeing by Lake Superior, which I haven't seen in many years. We took Arrow with us on this trip, and he had a blast running around in the marshes that have appeared in the last several years. The water level in Green Bay has been dropping consistantly for years, so instead of 10 feet of beach, we have 100 yards of swamp. We were glad to be there after mosquito season!

Not too much else went on in September, but Google Calendar says I had lunch with lots of downtown friends. Yay, me!

Month the Eighth: August 2006

In which our hero fixes the car and then goes on vacation with our heroine

August was a rollercoaster month. Adam and Chris put a new alternator in the Malibu, after several days of worrying about how to pay for more car repairs. Then Adam drove Arrow up north to stay with Jason the Musher for a week. We then drove over to MI with my parents for my cousin's wedding, and then my folks dropped us off in Chicago. We stayed a night with Karen (thanks, sweetie!) and she drove us to the airport to catch a flight to Grand Cayman. Adam's parents picked us up at that airport and we spent a week with them and with Erin and Scott at the Tortuga Resort. It was a lot of fun to spend time with Adam's side of the family. We see them so seldomly that it's really special when we do.

After vacation, Adam and Jason arranged the second Arrow trade-off, and he came home. Adam found it interesting to see how Arrow's understanding of pack dynamics had changed while visiting his birth pack. At the dog park, Arrow seemed to get along easier with more dogs, which meant everyone had more fun.

August was hot, too, with a week long heat wave that included at least four days over 100 degrees. This was the first year that we had put the A/C units in the windows, and even just running the most efficient on a low setting made a big difference in the temperature inside the house. We had to do a lot of watering outside, and most of the flowers survived, but the lawn was dead by the end of the month. We've started thinking seriously about how we can achieve more shade on the South side of the house, so that we can save our grass. It's no fun playing croquet on dirt.

Month the Seventh: July 2006

In which our hero and heroine hate oil and love latex

July started off really well. We had our usual party on the 4th, which was a great success. Lots of folks came over and had fun playing lawn games and table games. We went up to Powderhorn Park for the fireworks, which were a bit traumatic for the dog, but were fun for the rest of us.

The weekend before the party, we declined an invitation to the UP and decided to paint the dining room walls. We took our color choices to the paint store, and brought home all kinds of paint. Because there had been wallpaper up on the walls, we had to use oil based primers. Man, what a pain the neck! That stuff is so totally annoying. Once the primers were up, we were able to see some of the cracks and divets that we had missed before, so those got plastered up. Then it was on to the real paint, which was latex, thank God.

We started with the South wall, which is the red wall. We had chosen a color that matched our area rug, and we knew that it was going to take a few coats, which it did, but it ended up looking really lovely. The other walls became a nice neutral creamish, and the whole room started to look like a real room again.

Except, you know, for the massively ugly stripped wood. Hmpf.

The rest of July was spent dealing with a huge flat of verbenas that I brought home from the garden store. Note to self: no more flats of flowers! They are pretty plants, but they've taken over the yard. Oops!

Month the Sixth: June 2006

In which our hero and heroine experiment with not-so-hermetic seals

Once MND closed, we were able to go back to spending copious amounts of time sweating together in the dining room--and not in the fun sense. With the wallpaper down, many flaws were revealed in the dining room walls. First, we washed the walls. Then, we plastered up lots and lots of cracks, and some outright holes. We tried to keep the plastered parts from being too rough, but then we decided to just sand the walls entirely to get the last of the paste residue off.

So, we broke out the plastic drop cloth and taped off the door to the kitchen and the archway into the living room. We managed to create an inward air flow from the living room, and supplemented that with fans blowing out the dining room windows. Which was good because we were in there in the middle of June, two already sweaty people with masks on, wielding power sanders. Whew. But, that part went quickly, and then it was just a matter of washing dust off of everything, and then we were ready to paint. Yay!

Five Golden Months: May 2006

In which our heroine takes time off from theatre, and our hero says, "Thank God."

Mu's Midsummer Night's Dream performed in May to very favorable reviews. After closing my fifth show in a calendar year, I intended to take the next calendar year off from theatre. Ha ha ha. Ahem, more on that later.

The dining room redecoration dragged on, with not too much getting done during May. Adam was burned out on working by himself, and we were starting to need to get yardwork done, so that project was pretty much on hold.

Sadly, May was also the month that we began to spend money on car repairs again, which was a disappointing repeat of 2004 and 2005. We started talking seriously about needing more income and a new car for Adam.

May saw Arrow turn 7 months old. He was done with vaccines, he'd been neutered and microchipped, and he was licensed to play. Adam had bought a city dog park license, but we ended up starting to enjoy one of the parks that isn't run by the city. As the days became longer, it was really nice to be able to spend an hour or so letting Arrow run off energy with other dogs.

Month the Fourth: April 2006

Wow, I can't believe I'm keeping up with this so far. Fair warning, though, I may have to catch up on Monday because I don't think I'll take the time to post this weekend. Right, on to that other thing.

In which our heroine has "time off" and gives up mandys for Lent

April was the break between Cowboy vs Samurai performances and Midsummer Night's Dream rehearsals. I believe there was some Netflix watching, some sleeping, and lots of working on the dining room.

This was also about the time that Arrow was neutered and done with his vaccinations. We got his city license and his dog park license. I think it's also about when the lake in Powderhorn Park thawed out, and Arrow fell into it. Poor puppy had only ever walked on the lake when it was frozen, and he walked right off the pier into the water!

April also meant tax fun, which was extra exciting this year because of buying the house last year. 2007 might mean an investment in tax software (I know, RG, you told me so).

All in all, a rather quiet month, which was good.

Month the Third: March 2006

In which our hero discovers the future plans of our heroine.

March means my birthday! And this year, it wasn't on Easter! We continued the tradition of partying at Nye's, and had lots of fun. New additions to this year's party were Mo and Mikey, but we lost Steve to the pressures of fatherhood and marriage. Which prompted me to say to Adam, "So, I'm turning 30 next year. You know what that means." He said, "You're getting old?" I said, "We should get pregnant!" He had another drink.

The great dining room project went on...and on...and on. The wallpaper came down, and the underneath layer of pasty paper was steamed off. The trim continued to be stripped. Adam began to bemoan the fact that we couldn't have people over for long Sunday breakfasts. Cowboy vs Samurai performed at Mixed Blood Theater, and I began giving tours at the museum. And maybe I drank too much on my birthday because that's all I can remember.

Month the Second: February 2006

February we started puppy classes with Arrow, and he quickly learned Sit and Down. He knows other things now, but that was the extent of his formal education so far. He started to lose his puppy teeth, but not his love of tearing apart anything in reach of his crate.

The dining room work progressed without me, because I started rehearsals for Cowboy vs Samurai with Mu Productions. Adam continued to work on stripping the woodwork, which continued to be a pain in the neck (and wrist, and back, and butt, and knees).

The big change in February was that I started a new job, as the Asst Curator at the Wells Fargo History Museum in downtown Minneapolis. It's been awesome being able to indulge my love of learning and teaching and to be able to work on projects that actually get completed. I've really enjoyed my first 10 months here.

The judges give February 2006 a 7.5 overall.

In Honor Of Today

Being, as it is, the 12th of December, and being, as it is, the season of the 12 days of Christmas, and being, as I am, lazy and poor, here is the new holiday plan.

Over the next 12 days, I will attempt to write the Thorne Year In Review, in which I cover highlights from each of the last 12 months. (This might be fun, if I don't fail miserably and write 9 blogs on the 22nd. Tee hee hee!)

So, without further ado, I give you...

Month The First, January 2006: In which our heroes discover a misconception

At the beginning of January, Adam and I were recovering from having my entire family here for Christmas. It was our first Chrismas and New Years at Thorne House, and my parents, Alex and Amanda were all up to visit. We had a lovely time watching movies and playing games and doing a few house projects.

January was also the first whole month that Arrow lived with us. He was an adorable fuzzy little baby dog, who spent most of his time sleeping or running around like a mad thing. We had a few accidents, but we all got housebroken pretty painlessly, thank goodness. His favorite toy was Squeaky Monkey (RIP).

And then we started the Great Dining Room Redecoration! With our area rug in place, we finally got to choose our paint colors. We began the process of stripping the paint off of all of the wood trim, and discovered what an incredible pain in the ass that was. As the end of the month drew nigh, we realized that our original estimate of getting the room done before February was WAY WAY OFF. And the work went on...

The New Shape of Awsomeness

Do you know what isn't awsome? Having a broken car. Even if your car is awsome, if it is broken that awsomeness is completely negated.

Having three broken cars, then, is three times as not-awsome. And that lack of awsomeness had come to my house, was sleeping on the sofa, and didn't look like it was trying very hard to get it's own apartment.

THE SENTRA. Now anything that sees 194,000 miles on the clock is pretty awsome. But something with 194,000 miles on the clock that is broken no longer manages to impress. I got the '93 sentra with 72,000 miles back in probably '98 or '99. It's been a good car, but I always said 'When the clutch finally goes, I will stop putting money in it.' Now the throw-out bearing is busted, which causes the clutch cable to snap. Should the throw out bearing be fixed it might see a quarter million miles... care to gamble on it? Start the bidding at $50 in the comments!

THE MALIBU. In an effort to assist us, Mel's parents gave us custody of this ... car. It's only got something like 115,000 on it. But in it's relatively short time I was proud to replace the alternator on it with my own two hands (and Chris Smith's hands as well). After that it began leaking coolant much more seriously than at the rather modest rate it had been. That was a fried lower intake gasket. Fixing that involves removing an engine mount, and had to be done professionally. At least when the electrical system ate itself it had the good graces to do so at home in the garage. Now it doesn't turn itself on, so how many actual miles are on the thing is sort of a guess since the odo is digital.

THE BLAZER. Long ago the Blazer suffered a catastrophic oil leak. Mel's Blazer has the towing package, and that includes an oil cooler. In the times before we knew each other one line (feed or return? I dunno) broke, and all the oil went on the road. Now it was time for the other line to break. This caused Mel to dispair, and after having it fixed we sent it to her parents, who gave us the Malibu in stead. But Mel's parents are good sports, and when we began to suffer more automotive misfortune they returned the Blazer to us. It (and they) showed up just as the Malibu entered it's current state of brokenness. What a lovely time for the exhaust line behind the muffler to fall off! 'No problem,' I thought. The muffler was still in place, and after a bit of wrestling I got the dragging section of pipe removed from the truck. The next day, however, the Blazer began idling roughly, smelling like gas, and wanting to stall.

Now the stage was set. Three broken cars. (The Blazer has since been fixed, professionally.) Mel and I began to dispair. It was at this time that Mel concluded: We have to buy a car.

And now we have a 2003 Nissan Sentra SE-R spec-V, with 44,000 miles. It is so far the newest car I have owned. It is way way the coolest. It's got 175 horsepower and a 6-speed manual transmission. It is 'Sunburst' (yellow). The picture above is not the exact car I own, but it's the same year, trim level, and color. And the totally best part is that my insurance company doesn't differentiate between the seat of awsomness SE-R spec-V and the base trim level. That's right. My car insures at the same rate as the the ubiquitous Sentra XE.

Read about my car here. And here. Find out about the whole Sentra line here.

My new car is totally the coolest thing in the world. I wake up and go to sleep smiling. I love everyone. Rainbows and butterflies follow me everywhere.

I have to figure out what to do with the broken '93 Sentra and the broken Malibu.

Long ago, there was a party.

Long ago, in the time of October, there was a party.


Many other parties would follow it, for Halloween was coming, and that is a time of great festivity.


But this party came first, because it's celebration was more than just Halloween.


First among these things was the Birth-Day of Adam Thorne. As had happened every year, for 31 years previous, the anniversary of his birth, October 25th, brought cheers from good and righteous people everywhere, and snarls and gnashing of teeth from those unfortunate enough to face him over a video game controller. May this thirty second year see his video prowess undiminished!



Second among these was the first anniversary of the birth of Arrow, Adam's faithful companion, and bane of backyard landscaping. One year previously, on October the 20th Arrow entered the world among a litter of 6 pups out of "Tiny". We have the tin-foil evidence that Arrow has found some hershey's kisses since the night of the party, so if any of you hid any around the house know that your face may get chewed off.


Finally among these things is the completion of the Dining Room. The south wall is "Sizzling Haute" - that is to say red. The other walls are "Kansas Grain." The picture rails are installed. The wood work is stripped and washed and stripped and washed and stripped again and washed again and sanded and washed and pre-stained and sanded and washed and stained (maybe twice) and sealed 3 times with a little more sanding and washing in between.


AND LO! On October 21st there was a party, and ever after all those who were not present were known as SQUARES.

The Shape Of Awsomeness

I am here to tell you, people, what the most awsome thing in the universe is. And that is:

THA CAST IRON SKILLET, YO! Now some people might not be down with da SEA-EYE-ESS. They might say "I put my bacon in it and turn it on, and the center cooks but the outside stays raw!"

To these people I say: The Skillzet is from another time, G. You gotta know how it works. It takes time to make a thing go right, and it takes time to heat up the IRON. Turn on your burner. Put the skillet in place. Then go thaw your bacon, or get those cherry turnovers started, or go smooch on your wife since she's prolly still layin around in bed anyway. When you come back, throw that bacon in the C.I.S. and WHAA-CHOW that biz is cooked, yo. Once the skillet is hot there is NO STOPPING IT. Bacon. Eggs. A turkey. Your dog. Jackie Chan. The cast iron will FRY THAT **** UP and you can't even slow it down. Your bacon will be perfectly cooked, end to freakin end.

FURTHERMORE when you are sitting at the table and you gotta lean way back because you are full of the breakfasty goodness and your wife is like "You gonna do the dishes?" You can be like "Aw, shuga, we gotta let the skillet cool off before we can clean it." She won't believe you. But the skillet will be uncomfortably warm to the touch for a good half hour. Even after you dump a couple cups of cold water in it (water that is now hot, greasy, and splashing on you). Add to that the fact that it weighs like 30 pounds and the idea of maneuvering it around in the sink will be right out. This leaves you time to socialize with your breakfast guests, if you have any, or make out with your wife if there are no guests. Either way, perfect morning - courtesy of the CAST IRON SKILLET!

Time to Out the Lurker

My darling husband said to me on Saturday that I should stop posting boring posts about dreams, and start posting interesting posts about his birthday party and his new car.

To which I say (most lovingly): nobody's stopping you, sweetheart.

So if anyone else has ideas about what Adam should blog about, now's your chance to tell him (most lovingly).

Because it's only interesting in my head

Last night I dreamed that my brother and my cousin Warren (the two Annapolis grads in the family) were battling demons, or maybe they were just incompetent kings, at the Cottage in Upper MI.

Then my alarm went off, and when I hit snooze I dreamed that I was at the Student Union of UW-Madison. I was assisting Neil Gaiman as he judged a contest for Best Cake Made in the Shape of a Comic or Graphic Novel Character. This mostly meant that I had to find him a cup of tea, and he got to eat yummy cake.

Highways of Communication

Last night I dreamed that Adam was a bridge engineer. Will someone please analyze this stuff? Seriously.

Life has gotten crazy. For those who didn't know, I picked up a part time job at the downtown Barnes & Noble (hello, discount!), and I've been rehearsing a show with a youth group in St Louis Park. Adam has been valiantly picking up the household pieces and keeping the dog appeased. His life just got much happier, though, and we'll get pix up as soon as we can.

The upshot is, there's not a lot of blogging going on, and not even a lot of emailing, so if you're feeling neglected, you should call me and put yourself on our calendar for some time in mid-November or early December. We love you, we really do.

smochs

I had a dream about you, too! I dreamed that you came back from Korea for a visit, and you surprised me at a restaurant or a bar or someplace. I was all excited and I asked you how long you were going to stay and you said, "Adriano wants to leave tomorrow night to go back to Korea." I said, "So, can I hang out with you tomorrow morning?" You said, "No, I'm acting for the performing arts section of the SAT."

What?

So, I got really angry and I went over to Marc and Becky's house (which was not their actual house, of course, it was some huge rambling one level house with a big greenhouse/sauna combination) and I was telling Marc how awful it was that you were leaving again, but he had some kind of weird facial muscle disease and all he wanted me to do was make coffee for him. But this is Marc, right, so he had this crazy technological coffee maker and I couldn't figure out how to make it work, and I got more and more angry, so I left without making him coffee. (Sorry, dude!)

Then I woke up. Seriously, what?

Minus 50 thousand words.

Don't worry, the pictures will be back.

Eventually.

I deleted some off of Flickr to make room for others, completely forgetting that it would delete the links here. Argh.

House Update!

Do you know, once this dining room adventure is done, I don't know what I'm going to blog about anymore. Hrm.

Well, no worries about that yet, because projects just keep rolling right along! Adam has sanded, conditioned, sanded, and stained the wood trim. He doing a little bit of repair in one corner, and then he'll be on to the polyurethane sealant. As you can see below, the stain made a huge difference in how the wood looks. Instead of looking obviously old and mistreated by whatever fool painted it the first time, it looks obviously old but still lovely and warm.

I finished painting the dining room picture rails and have started painting the upstairs hallway picture rails. I actually got to hang the first picture up today. Yay, art!

And, just in case you were worried about "all work and no play," here's a picture of Sherwing singing karaoke last Wednesday!

Fetterman Schmalkaldic

Joshua, I had a dream about you! You were the youngest of five kids, four boys with a girl in the middle, but you'd only been raised with three of them because your twin brother was abducted in infancy. Thirty years later, he's finally found your family, and you're all set to meet for the first time.

So, I'm sitting there with you and your family around a display of patio furniture at Home Depot, and your twin walks in with a couple of other guys, and I turn to you and say (about your twin):

He's here! Look, he's the shorter one.

Because maybe you wouldn't recognize him? Yeah, in case you were wondering, I'm still a dork.

Morning view of downtown

This is a view of the Wells Fargo Center (where I work) reflected in the IDS Center across the street. I was standing in the skyway between Gaviidae Common and the City Center.

Yeah, not so much anymore.

Hey, Smochs, remember how you bought that dog toy for Arrow and it was really squeaky?

Hey, Marc, remember when I said this place was for sale and you should buy it and open Coffee and Bacon?

Already?

It seems like yesterday that I told Adam we were getting married. But here we are at our second wedding anniversary already. Two years ago today, my dad was eating four pieces of our wedding cake and my in-laws and cousins were making friends with Japanese dairy businessmen.

I feel blessed to have had two wonderful years of marriage, and I hope we have many more to come!

Of Man and Dog

It's that time again, time for

Adam's Birthday Masquerade!

When: Saturday October 21st at 8pm

Costume Judging and Prizes at 10pm

Where: Thorne House

(PS: This link works now!)

Adam is turning 32 this year, on October 25th.

Arrow is turning 1 year old on October 20th.

Our dining room will be redecorated (or by God, someone will pay).

Come celebrate with us!

As usual, BYOB. Snacks provided.

Presents are not required, but if anyone is so moved, Adam would appreciate gift certificates to either Barnes & Noble or Home Depot.

Hope to see you all here!

I don't work for them anymore

The Ameriprise Financial Ivey's Awards were Monday night. They're local live theatre awards that are completely based on audience feedback. You can volunteer to be an evaluator, or you can give feedback through the Ivey website. I think that it's really nice to see a community that wants to tell it's theatre artists that they are appreciated. Sometimes it's easy to feel that theatre in America is on the endangered species list, along with dance, music, the visual arts, libraries, and anything else that isn't highschool football. Some of the theatre folks in the Twin Cities were a little leary of an award sponsored by a financial services firm, but when I think of all of the other worthy causes toward which they could have put their money, I think it's the height of unprofessionalism not to be appreciative. My mama always said, "If someone gives you a compliment, smile and say thank you."

Here are pictures from Adia Morris, because I was too much a space case to bring my camera. That's what happens when I remember the cute little dressy handbag--I forget what I want to take with me.

Hi and Goodbye

Just a flying little update post to say that we are back from vacation in the UP, and that I'm going to the Ivey's tonight, and I'll tell you more about both of those things later, and fill you in on all of the new kitchen furniture goodness, and brag about myself, and there will be pictures and links and more run-on sentence and dangling participle fun than you can shake a mixed metaphor at.

I love the Internet

I found this hilarious post on Craigslist:

"To the person who put half a piece of toast on my car this morning:
Why?
Now what would possess a person to discard a perfectly good piece of toast?
I agree with your choice of morning nourishment, but why not finish it?
Were you trying to share the deliciousness of the freshly baked bread?
Or were you merely showing off your excellent bread toasting skills?
I'm sure you noticed the garbage can that was a mere 20 ft from my parked car, but no- your toast had a purpose.
I thank you for the kind gesture, but as it was half-eaten I did not partake in the digesting of it.
Now I know you didn't carelessly toss the toast aside and it just happened to fall on my car, because it was so carefully (dare I say lovingly?) placed under my wiper blade. Butter side up.
Maybe I am missing something. Is there some sort of age-old tradition of distributing buttered toast as a symbol of affection, courtship, impending doom? If so I hope it's not the latter.
As I was unsure of who you might be generous-toast-weilding-man, I didn't want to physically come in contact with your little gift you left me. It took me almost 5 minutes to find a stick and poke it out from under my wiper and push it too the ground- my squirrel friends that live around the building thank you I'm sure. My boss does not , as I was late for work.
Thank you for the kind start to my morning, however tomorrow I would rather like a cup of coffee and a 3-egg omelette (extra cheese mind you) to go with it."

Which supports my theory that we are much funnier in print than we are live.

So that's why I don't like Tom Jones!

Here's my new favorite example of free speech. This made me laugh way too hard. In other news, happy 2nd Anniversary to Marc and Becky Chapman!!

Intergalactic academic says Martians and aboriginal earthlings mated to create Asian race
By Maggie Grainger
September 4, 2006

San Diego--Pluto may have been officially demoted as a planet, but that doesn’t seem to have the rest of the galaxy in a tizzy.

Yep, that’s right, we’re not alone in the universe – or at least that’s what the students and teachers at the Unarius Academy of Science in El Cajon want the world to know.

Professor and web master David Reynolds says Pluto was never recognized as a planet in the intergalactic council anyways and that we should be focusing our energy on the aliens closer to home.

Aliens are among us – Martians to be exact – and they are roaming the earth right now -- although you wouldn’t necessarily be able to spot one because, well, because they’re Asian.

Yep, you read right. Asians are Martians or vice versa.

According to Reynolds, the Asian race is a result of Martian and aboriginal Earthlings interbreeding more than half a million years ago.

Reynolds says the Martians came to Earth long ago with the intent to colonize and relocate from their home on Mars, but were confronted by the angry aboriginal earthlings in the Gobi desert before they could stake their claim.

The earthlings were too much for the Martians to handle and, although they had more advanced ray guns, the Martians ended up surrendering because they don’t believe in war.

“They knew if they (the Martians) shot, it would set back their own spiritual plan,” Reynolds explained.

Eventually the Martians and Aboriginals started getting busy together and over the years the offspring turned into today’s vast Asian population.

Reynolds says pure blood Martians are still on Mars waiting for the right time to make themselves known to the human race.

“They don’t want us snooping around,” he said. “They’ve camouflaged the openings on the surface because they don’t want to be bothered.”

Instead, they are hard at work advancing their own race and have tried to make contact with Earthlings for centuries now but are afraid of getting shot once they enter the Earth’s atmosphere.

Reynolds says the government knows that the Martians have been trying to make contact but want to keep it a secret because it would “cause people to not have a spiritual foundation” and throw everything into chaos.

Martians aren’t the only ones trying to make contact, there are more than 30 other planets composed of “aliens that look like you and me” in the “Confederation” that want to make contact but are too advanced for the human race to understand.

Instead, they are waiting for us to catch up both technologically and spiritually before they make their presence known to everyone.

“Right now we are too hostile a race,” Reynolds points out. “We need to be open to our ‘space brothers’ who know we are going through a painful transition right now.”
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Maggie Grainger is a Vyuz staff writer.

Happy Labor Day

It was a beautiful day in the labor-hood. We spent the weekend shopping at Home Depot, putting up picture rails, and hanging out with friends. It was rainy Saturday and Sunday, but lovely on Monday, as you can see above. Pictures of hanging picture rails are here on Flickr. Thorne Gallery, coming soon!

Throwing In With The Laws of God and Man

Today's title brought to you by Dinosaur Comics.

I got a call on Tuesday from a volunteer for the Keith Ellison campaign, asking me if I was going to vote for Ellison. I said, No, I'm going to vote for Ember Reichgott Junge. He said, "Okay, thanks," and hung up.

I don't get it. No attempt to change my mind? No pitch about Ellison being a better candidate? No quiz about why I'm going to vote for Junge? What?

Which brings me to the real question, whatever happened to polite debate? When did we develop this inability to change each other's minds through asking questions or sharing information? When did we come to the conclusion that if someone doesn't think like us, we shouldn't spend time trying to understand each other's point of view? I don't get that, either.

Monday, monday

This made me laugh, because I can absolutely sympathize with both kid and mother. It's from mimi smartypants:
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"4. Nora is getting really particular about what she wears. Dresses are RIGHT OUT, as is anything with "curlies," which she defines as the slightest hint of a gather, or a ruffle, or that lettuce edging that little girls' turtlenecks have, or even sometimes puffed cap sleeves on t-shirts. For the most part, I let her wear what she wants and try to shop accordingly, but occasionally I will pull out one of the adorable barely-worn sundresses and try to get her to put it on. The "but a dress is so much cooler!" argument sometimes works, since my girl has a horror of being hot, but not always. A few weeks ago I tried to appeal to her inner jock by postulating that the sleeveless cotton tank dress was really a "basketball dress." And yes, the whole time I was jiving and conniving I knew how ridiculous I sounded. But I wanted her to wear it at least once before the season was over, and it worked.
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For a while. The whole rest of that morning, Nora acted like a total shithead. She whined and acted up and backtalked and was hyperemotional and I have never seen such bad behavior from her, ever. I was trying to get ready for our outing and doing eight million things and it just kept getting worse and worse, so finally I said, "Nora, what is WRONG with you?"
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That's when she started crying hysterically, hiccupping and sobbing, "I DON’T WANT TO WEAR A DRESS!"
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Well JESUS, you don't have to! Go ahead, take it off! Particularly if it means you will act like a human again! I knew Nora had no love for dresses and skirts but I did not know that wearing one for a few hours would color her ENTIRE WORLDVIEW. The dress-hate runs deep, apparently, and I won't ever try to pull one over on her again.
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---mimi smartypants eateth not the bread of idleness but makes no promises about the cupcake of idleness. "
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We spent the weekend finally making progress on house projects. After last weekend's disjointed spasms of usefulness, I really wanted to get a lot done this weekend. It mostly worked.
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On Saturday, Adam and I were at the MN State Fair. We spent some time at the Wells Fargo stagecoach, handing people in and out and rocking the coach for them. Then we walked around the Horse Barn and the Cattle Barn before fleeing the mass of fair-going humanity. Jen and Becky and I hit the MOA for lunch and new boots for them. I didn't even buy a book--I'm so good! That afternoon was given over to more Malibu repair contemplations, since the coolent system continues to be schizophrenic. Adam and Jesse and Chris thought they might replace some gaskets, but Adam decided that we should get mechanic's quotes first. I thought that was a wise choice. We'll see if I still think so after calling a few shops.
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Sunday morning meant a lovely dim sum brunch with the usual suspects plus the entertaining Mr Postle. Afterwards, Adam was good enough to put off having a nap, and instead we did some paint stripping on the big window. He also cut the lawn and swept the house, while I did laundry and other housecleany things. I helped Jen move some bookcases in her house, since she can't carry anything yet. We commiserated about having, "Oh, just put it there," piles left over from moving in. Don't worry--those are on the project list, too.
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Hopefully this week, we will buy the picture rails and paint them. I would love to get them up next weekend. Then we only have a little more stripping before we can seal the woodwork. We've decided to keep it pretty rough-looking, and just put a clear coat over it, the better to clean it when the children have food fights.

The Laziest Post Ever

The pictures from our recent trip to Grand Cayman are up on Flickr. Some explanation:

1. The resort is still under construction, rebuiding from Hurrican Ivan in 2002.
2. All of these pictures were taken on the last three days that we were on the island.

Enjoy!

Accomplishments and Activities

Things I've done recently:

1) Fixed the car. With the help of Chris Smith the Chevy Malibu was diagnosed as having a bad alternator, and said alternator was replaced. I'm fairly impressed with the with this, but there isn't much to say about it. Next time I have to put a serpentine belt back on, however, I think I'll put it over the toothy gear and then try to slide it onto the smooth gear, instead of the other way around.

B) Go Tournament. There was a Go tournament a while back, and I went. It was the Minnjin tournament (a play on an existing Japanese tournament for the title of Meijin), and it was sponsored by the Japan-America Society of Minnesota, or somesuch. They asked me what strength I was and I said "I have no idea." They rather arbitrarily put me down as 16 Kyu (AGA scale). There were maybe 15 or 20 people there. My record went like this:

• Game 1 - Reggie 14 Kyu (Black) vs. Adam 16 Kyu (White), No Handicap - I won this one on time due to Reggie not understanding the Ing game clock. We played it out anyway, and Reggie took me: Black 65, White 57.5 (with a 6.5 point Komi). Who knows how it would have turned out if Reggie had had to hurry some of his critical decisions a bit more?
  

• Game 2 - Sam 25 Kyu (Black) vs. Adam 16 Kyu (White), 9 Stone Handicap - Sam was just a beginner, but he had a good sense for grabbing territory and not getting stuck in loosing battles. It looked pretty close until we factored in his prisoners. Final score Black: 52, White 81 (no komi).

• Game 3 - Xing 25 Kyu (Black) vs. Adam 16 Kyu (White), 9 Stone Handicap - Xing was also still a beginner, but he had a much greater willingness to jump in and fight against me. Unfortunately for him, this led to his slaughter. We didn't bother to count the score.

• Side Game - One of the guys who looked like part of the regular crowd challenged me to a side game. I forget his name, I think it started with a 'B'. He said he was playing as a 5K that day, and that I could take however many stones I felt were necessary as a handicap. 16k - 5k = 11 stones, but 11 stones sounded like a whole lot. I opted for 7, and was able to force a resignation from him. He said he thought 4 stones would result in a better game.

I went in not knowing my strength. I feel like I played about on par with Reggie who was a 14k. This made me pretty happy, as I was hoping that I'd come in 15-20 kyu. If someone were to ask, I think I'd tell them that I'm about a 15k. But I beat that 5k pretty handily. If I take him at his word that I should have 4 stones from him that would suggest that I would be 5kyu + 4 stones = 9kyu. I don't think I'd buy that I'm down into the single digits, but I am glad to have played well against him. =)

I was happy to have established my strength, and I had a couple of good games, but I felt like the tournament was unfortunately bad. For one thing, I only got one official game against a similarly ranked player. The 25k's I played were nice people, but on the goban I just pushed them around. Oh well, I guess there weren't enough people in the 15+ kyu range to really flesh out the lower ranks. Also James Kerwin, a local Pro, was supposed to show up and do an analysis of the top games. But James called in sick. These things happen, but since I paid $10 to take part I was expecting a little something. It's not like there were any prizes or anything, no final standing was announced. Basically I just showed up and played the 3 players closest to my own strength. The best local players did some analysis on some games (BTW, having the 2 players give commentary on the game they actually played is comedy gold, especially if one of them is really cocky), but basically that was the regular group commenting on the regular group, mostly for the benefit of the regular group. It was a 1dan/3dan game, a 1dan/1dan game, and like a 4kyu/5kyu game. It would have been nice to see dan level, 5-10 kyu, and then 15+ kyu games, just to broaden the appeal.

I had fun none-the-less. I hope to make it to one of the local Go club gatherings that the 5k mentioned to me, and maybe see some of those people there.

iv) Fixed the Garbage Disposal. I have carved another notch on the psycho-fix-it-guy toolbelt. While it is true that I was the source of the fishtank gravel entering the garbage disposal, I don't think that diminishes the fact that I have fixed it. Anyway I now have a good knowledge of how to remove the disposal from underneath my sink and unjam / disassemble / backflush it.

There is also the matter of our recent vacation, but we'll get a picture post up about that soon enough.

Where am I going, and why am I in this handbasket?

So, we're back from vacation, which was very nice. More about that later, once the pictures get organized.

Just a note now to let you know that I've added the Google Calendar button under Links (over there--->) so that you can see our schedule, if you want to. Those of you who have Gmail should be able to see the calendar no problem, since you already have one of your own automatically. Otherwise, it's a sign up dealio, which is obviously completely up to you. If you prefer, you can simply click on the first link, and that will give you just the current month.

So now you know when we're available to be entertained by you. So get right on that, people.

And then there were none....

So, we'll be on vacation until the 14th. We'll be in lower MI for a wedding this weekend, and then in Grand Cayman for a week with Mom and Dad Thorne. So don't bother complaining about no new posts, 'cause we won't care. We'll be at the pool bar.

Au revior!

Picture Post

Here are some photos from just before and during my trip to CA. I went out to visit all of the Wells Fargo History Museums in CA, which took four days and was a ton of fun. It was nice to meet folks that I work with, who I've only spoken to on the phone. These are the non-work related pix. For pix of each museum, go here. Next up in the catch-up posting: Cars Were Invented By Satan.

Here are some views from the WF tower in LA (I don't know what parts of town we're looking at), as well as a super cool sulpture in their courtyard:

Here's a weirdly dark picture of Amanda and I, and a better pic of Tabetha (who is platinum blonde as of yesterday):

Here is a view of San Francisco's Chinatown, as well as the "silver" ware I was given at the SFO airport. If the DHS would hurry up and do its job, we could all eat lunch easier.

Here is the one work-related photo that I'm posting from my trip. This is an example of the scales that WF agents would use to weigh gold dust from the 49ers in the gold fields. These scales are so accurate that you can make a pencil X on a sheet of paper, and weigh the difference between that and another unmarked sheet.

Forza Motorsport Challenge II

Alright. So I figured I should make a post 'cause it's been about a million years since I've done so. So I'm putting this blog to good use by posting a little contest. I don't know how many of you know this, but I like to play video games. One of the video game genres that I enjoy is Driving Games. The driving game of choice at the moment is Forza Motorsport on my Xbox. Now another bit of trivia that not all of you may know is that a number of my irresponsible male type friends also enjoy playing video games on their Xboxes. And so I am here to issue challenges to get these people driving in Forza and posting times. Anyone who can log some time on Forza is welcome to participate.

Forza Motorsport Challenge I has concluded. Not that you shouldn't post a time in comments, but I'm moving on to the next challenge. The old challenge was any class D car on Maple Valley (the 2.98 mi track, not the shorter one), in 'hot lap' mode. No mods on the car, and after the first lap you'll have a running start. Results came up like this:

• Matt - 1:48.361 in the Peugeot 206 Gti 180
• Chris - ~2:02 in I don't remember what car
• Jesse - 1:49 in the Audi TT
• Marc - 1:50.746 in the Peugeot 206
• Adam - 1:46.278 in the Peugeot 206

To be fair, Chris doesn't actually own an Xbox, and made his time screwing around at my house one evening. I was suprised that the Peugeot did so well, my time on it was way better than in the 2 or 3 other likely cars I tried in Class C. Thanks for participating, guys.

Now that that's out of the way here's Forza Motorsport Challenge II:

Lancer EVO vs. WRX STi
In the comments post a time for both the Class C 2004 Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution VIII GSR and the Class C 2004 Subaru Impreza WRX STi on the Blue Mountains Raceway II track. Also, discuss which you prefer in tha game.

Challenges I and II have been 'hot lap' and no mods on the car for the sake of those who haven't progressed super far through the game yet, and might not have the game money to be buying and hotroding cars. Eventually I want to have a 'tune this car the best' type contest, so let me know how your in-game bank account is lookin, 'k?

Right about now my wife is thinking 'this is what I get for encouraging him to post on the blog.' =D

Of People and Puppies

Adam and I, last night.



Adam and Annie and I, last weekend.

Marc and Becky, last night.


He likes to steal the seat that I've just gotten up from.


He sleeps like this voluntarily.

Pondering Particles

The stuff coming out of my lungs when I cough is gross.

Not as gross as eating two pounds of bacon. It's funnier when it's not yours.

Overheard on the bus to work:
"I think people date whoever they want to.... People see us and they think, we're both Mexican, we must be dating."
"Like you have this instant connection."

Overheard at Caribou:
"You can have a bad attitude and still do good work." (<--Thank goodness; because I hate to change.)

Party Pooper

I have had a cold. In the middle of the summer. Ugh.
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My colds tend to ricochet around my body, changing their point of attach each day that I am sick. The first day, my throat is swollen and terribly sore. The next day, my sinuses clog up, and the throbbing begins behind my eyes. The third day, I have a cough and an all-day series of fevers. It's a rich tapastry
of fun.
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Today I feel much better, and I am back at work. I have managed to stay awake all day so far. My boss bought us all chocolate, and then pointed out that for the Aquatennial, the Crowne Plaza has $2 vodka lemonades. You know, to make my recovery complete.

Party Pictures*

Here's a few pictures from the 2nd Annual Thorne House 4th of July Party. Note to self: take more pictures at parties!

Adam's excited to be a part of this plan:


The game of bocce (which was preceded by a game of croquet):

The crowd of us right before we walked up to the park:

Chris Smith, Jen Cuff and Jacqueline Cuff, in ascending order:

*How many posts do you think I can start with alliterative P's?

Painting Progress

We made visible progress on the dining room this weekend. It's very exciting to think that we'll be able to have our dining room back again soon! On Saturday, we went to buy our paints and primers and implements. Then we sealed ourselves into the dining room and sanded down all four walls. We had spackled over many holes and cracks, so we sanded to reduce the texture of the walls. 97 year old plaster walls have enough personality already, without us adding to it!

Here you can see the two colors of primers that we're using. Since the room was wallpapered, we had to use oil based primers, and if I never do that again, it'll be fine with me. (Never mind that whole living room waiting for us....) I still have paint on my legs, but at least my hands aren't gray any more. That light primer is actually very close to what the final color will be on the East, North and West walls.

We painted the primer on Sunday, and then to celebrate Adam went to Willow River St Park with Chris and Jesse. He came home with a lovely head wound from climbing behind the waterfall. He had Monday off, and I came home at 2pm, but instead of doing more painting, he had a violent allergy attack. I did laundry while he popped antihistamines, and then we indulged in late night Ceasar salads at Figlio. Poor guy had to have something good happen to him!

So, it was Tuesday morning before we managed to put two coats of the red up on the South wall. We wanted to be able to brag to all of our party guests that afternoon, and we did get a lot of complements. It was also nice to be able to show exactly why our house is a terrible mess. Good thing the party was outside! Stay tuned for party pictures tomorrow!

We need more sleep.

"You love me for who I am, for my personality."
"I love you for who you am--"
"Not just because I solve your problems."

"You are simultaneously the cause and solution of all my problems."

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"That's not romantic."

"Philosophical stuff is romantic."

"Philo-sophy isn't ro-mance. Telling me about Socrates's cave isn't going to make me hot."

"Socrates is stupid. There's no cave here, we're not in a cave. He knew shit."

"You know shit."

"Hey, I read books. Books that say things. Things that are right. Then I say those things, and that makes me right."

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Love in the Time of I Don't Want to Talk to You

Adam and I spatted on Friday, sparring to win the title of Most Selfish Spouse. Adam won comprehensively in the Social Calendar round, but I took many points in the Silent Treatment and Revenge Shopping rounds. And then we weeded and drank some beer and looked at Jen's and Chris's vacation pictures, and all was well.

Weeding, like every other house project, has it's own set of tools/props/stuff. The Revenge Shopping happened at Home Depot, where I picked up a grass shears and a new sprinkler. (How very exciting!) It's amazing, though, the difference that an hour's weeding in a flower bed can make. I did the bed in the front of the house, and partway down the front walk, while Adam chased Creeping Charlie in the backyard. After Adam cut the grass Sunday morning, we went around with the weed whacker and finally trimmed up the fenceline along the South side of the yard. The grass had happily grown up into the fence, which is okay if you're going for that Little House on the Prairie look, which we're not. Adam also trimmed up around the verbenas along the curb walk, using the new grass sheers, which resulted in 6 plants looking nice and 1 plant chopped in half. Oops.

It's finally been raining usefully, a lovely slow soaking instead of a harsh downpour, so that's been helping everything in the yard. I've been putting some used coffee grounds by the new hostas, and watered almost everything else with some MiracleGro. We're getting the first ripe raspberries, which we picked last night as our super-fresh dessert. Joanne and John Jongsma were over grilling out and hoping our dogs would get along (which they kind of did), and after dinner we all ate a handful of raspberries straight off the bush. A few more hours of weeding, and we'll be ready to relax on the outdoor chores for a little while. Just in time to start the final push on the dining room!

Getting Schooled

Here are the two tricks that Arrow knows, and the two that we've just started working on.

SIT:

DOWN:

And I can't remember if this was supposed to be UP, or was a failed attempt at BEG:

Keeping up Northern Relations

Adam and I took Arrow up to the Chapman's place outside Wahkon. Their house is right on Lake Mille Lacs, and we were treated to a lovely sunset over the lake on Saturday night. Marc grilled some fantastic ribs, and Becky made us yummy wild rice, which had been gathered and dried in the Indian tradition. There was lots of World Cup Soccer, eating, and good conversation.

Arrow normally doesn't appreciate the car very much, so we gave him a couple of Benedryl, and then he slept the whole way and didn't pull his usual trick of foaming at the mouth and puking. We'll have a couple of other trips this year, so we're happy to find something that keeps him relaxed in the car. And before you all call the ASPCA, the Benedryl was recommended by our vet!